Just saving this here.
60 day update
Arcane Conundrum
Day 260Director of the Facility: Infini T.
Genetic Experiment: Billy T.
Resilient Vagrant: Insani T.
Annoying Critic: Acui T.
Necromancer of the Catacombs: Werman
Werman's Apprentice: Dorothea
Forgotten Subject: Granite
Unusual Spirit: Ur
Neutral Drifter: Cap'n Captain Blarggg
Unaffiliated Squatter: Game Guy
Base: Mt. Rugged
Base Defenses:Tectonic Plate Simulator (20 Days) Creates small tremors
Aerial Ward (20 Days) Draws aircraft closer to ground
Alliances: M.R.F. (Communists/Soviet Onion)
Enemies: None
====================================================Enigmatic Byproducts: 87,000
Battle Points: 0
Troops: 20,000 Zombie Moles (melee magic unit)
21,000 Wizzerds (ranged magic unit)
21,000 Swoopires (support magic unit)
21,000 Scientists (ranged science unit)
21,000 Bowsentries (melee science unit)
21,000 Sewage Bloopers (support science unit)
10,000 Blarggs (uber alchemists)
Total: 135,000
Troop Equipment/Abilities:Swarm (40 Days) Wizzerds/Scientists
Conglomerate (40 Days) Wizzerds/Scientists
Substitute (40 Days) Wizzerds/Scientists
Immortal (40 Days) Swoopires
Flight (40 Days) All units
Illusion (30 Day) Wizzerds
Override (30 Days) Wizzerds/Scientists
Resilience (30 Days) Zombie Moles
Infectious Disease (30 Days) Zombie Moles
Grenade Launchers (30 Days) Bowsentries
Buzz-saws (30 Days) Bowsentries
Vampirus (30 Days) Swoopires
H.U.G.S. (30 Days) Bowsentries
Nanites (30 Days) Scientists
Mutate (30 Days) Bloopers/Scientists
Rain (30 Days) Wizzerds
Sonic Pulse (20 Days) Bowsentries
Flash (20 Days) Bowsentries
Ward (20 Days) Wizzerds
====================================================War Machines:None
Artifacts:None
====================================================Projects:(10/40) (Werman Ability: Curse of Midas, curses a person so that all their equipment turns to fragile gold they're reluctant to part with)
(10/30) Devise the ultimate source of energy (Infini T. Ability: Perpetual Motion, causes the enemy to be unable to remain still) 10
(10/20) Research the spell within the darkness lantern (Werman Ability: Shroud, conceals the surrounding area in darkness)
(10/30) Manufacture more effective nanomachines (Infini T. Ability: Upgrades Mutate to affect structures)
Completed Projects:
(30/30) Conquer a Costco (Troop Upgrade: Infectious Disease, zombies convert enemies to their own kind)
(30/30) Ponder on how Blarggs can actually live (Uber Troop: Blarggs, blobs of lava)
(40/40) Tame forest swarms (Troop Ability: Scientists/Wizzerds summon Punis/Jabbers)
(20/20) Salvage Wastelander tech (Troop Type: Bowsentries)
(20/20) Jury-rig old flash photography (Troop Upgrade: Flash, Bowsentries can emit bright bursts of light)
(20/20) Get the Angry Sun to take anti-depressants (Troop Type: Swoopires)
(30/30) Secretly steal Werman's old mining equipment (Troop Equipment: Grenade Launchers, Bowsentries fire minor explosives)
(20/20) Imagine functional locks (Troop Ability: Ward, Wizzerds can create invisible barriers)
(20/20) Locate an oil rig (Troop Type: Sewage Bloopers)
(30/30) Experiment with radioactive waste (Troop Ability: Mutate, Scientists/Bloopers can mutate targets)
(30/30) Destroy modern literature on vampires (Troop Ability: Vampirus, bitten victims of Swoopire go berserk and attack allies)
(40/40) Research this more ancient "Infini T." (Troop Ability: Wizzerds/Scientists can create creatures out of corpses)
(30/30) Control the enemy (Troop Upgrade: Scientists hack machines, Wizzerds organic versions)
(30/30) Establish the more effective flight method (Troop Upgrade: Universal flight)
(30/30) Improve close-combat efficiency (Troop Ability: Bowsentries gain buzzsaws)
(30/30) Delude the ignorant (Troop Ability: Illusion, Wizzerds project false images)
(40/40) Ascend to a higher (but not by much) state of existence (Troop Upgrade: Immortality, Swoopires can only be killed by specific methods)
(30/30) Refuse to expire (Troop Upgrade: Resilience, the corpses of zombies continue to move after death)
(40/40) Have others fight your battles (Troop Ability: Substitute, Wizzerds/Scientists can band together to create more powerful entities)
(30/30) Formulate an effective means to repair damage (Troop Equipment: Nanites, Scientists have a vial of these microscopic robots that quickly repairs damage)
(30/30) Throw people into volcanoes until the weather changes (Troop Ability: Rain, Wizzerds can conjure up fierce winds and rains)
(100/100) Establish something akin to friendship (Champion Project)
(30/30) Create a highly utilized gun system (Troop Upgrade: H.U.G.S., Bowsentries are significantly more accurate)
(20/20) Experiment with various frequencies (Troop Upgrade: Sonic Pulse, Bowsentries generate a constant frequency that gradually create harmful effects in enemies)
(40/40) Unravel one of alchemy's great secrets (Werman Ability: Curse of Midas, curses a person so that all their equipment turns to fragile gold they're reluctant to part with)
(30/30) Devise the ultimate source of energy (Infini T. Ability: Perpetual Motion, causes the enemy to be unable to remain still)
(20/20) Research the spell within the darkness lantern (Werman Ability: Shroud, conceals the surrounding area in darkness)
(30/30) Manufacture more effective nanomachines (Infini T. Ability: Upgrades Mutate to affect structures)
(20/20) Learn what echolocation is (Werman Ability: Allows him to perceive his surroundings)
(20/20) Rob the inferior of what little they know (Werman Ability: Upgrades Leech to steal intelligence)
(30/30) Handle the most flammable substances in existence (Infini T. Ability: Chlorine Trifluoride, improves Thermite to burn under almost any condition)
(30/30) Survey various vagrants for the most effective means of consuming psychoactive drugs (Infini T. Ability: Illicit Substances, drugs enemies with impairing substances.)
(20/20) Create a simulating substance for the limb of Infini T. (Infini T. Ability: Abnormal Appendage, his other arm functions again)
(30/30) Make those bloopers useful for something (Blooper Ability: Fluoroantimonic Acid, a really acidic substance)
Factories:
(80/100) Game Guy
(54/)
====================================================Gained:Shroud, Curse of Midas, Perpetual Motion, Mutate upgrade
Echolocation, Leech upgrade, Chlorine Trifluoride, Abnormal Appendage, Illicit Substances
Note to remove while log-writing:
Upgrade the sound thingy for infrasound.
Log: Compilation of all recent data:
Espionage Report EpsilonYar, welcome ta Rougeport's Trouble Center. This is where people come ta complain 'bout their (not so) petty problems. All honorable heroes 'n reckless ruffians are urged ta help these poor souls outta the kindness of their heart.
...But, since yer all greedy Blargg'ers, there'll be sumethin' nice in it fer ya. But this ain't Ebay, so you ain't getting the full details of yer loot 'til we know ya didn't screw up. Luckily fer ya, we'll at least tell ya what's in store if ye come back alive. Bit 'o mystery ought ta excite ya.
Run-down villages ain't gonna be happy ta see dozens 'o armies surrounding their moldy shacks, so ya'll be limited in what ye can send ta help 'em out, 'n only one group ta a job at a time. If ye fail the job, then don't bother comin' back 'ere unless ya want ta spend the afternoon listenin' ta how terrible ya are. Whether ye did yer job properly or yer sent the whole place up in flames, ya gotta let someone else try their hand at the other jobs first. 'n no callin' "dibs" on any jobs or sumthin' like that. Either ya state which job yer taking 'n send in sum plans sometime soon ta the person who volunteers ta wittness yer battle, or ya get passed over fer 'nother person if ya aren't ready ta carry it out in a day or two.
King of the Monsters This message was delivered by a pair of tiny fairy twins who spoke in unison. Our associate has copied down the fairies’ plight word for word:
The Japanese have done something horrible! They have violated their long-lasting Three Non-Nuclear Principles by creating a nuclear weapon. Godzilla, in his anger, has marched upon Tokyo with the intent to punish the people of Japan. Little does Godzilla know, the JSDF is intent on capturing Godzilla using their new and improved arsenal! Please, we beg you, protect Godzilla at all costs. For the sake of mankind! Not long after, we picked up a transmission from the JSDF:
ATTENTION: Godzilla sighting in Tokyo Bay. All JSDF units mobilize for Operation: Nuclear Winter. Godzilla must be captured at all costs. JSDF Maser Tanks, along with the Super X3 will attempt to freeze Godzilla solid and then transport him to a storage facility big enough to contain the monster. If we fail, then Tokyo will be destroyed. Job: Japan seems to be in a bit of a pickle. Choose to assist either Godzilla or the JSDF.
If you choose to help Godzilla, your objective is to destroy the JSDF trying to capture him, which consists of the jet-like aircraft dubbed the Super X3, along with a battalion of ten Maser Tanks. While the Maser Tanks are only mosquito bites to the King of the Monsters, their distraction will grant the Super X3 the opportunity to freeze Godzilla.
If you choose to help the JSDF, you must conduct a strategy to capture Godzilla. You may assist the Super X3 as it does its thing or just find a way to capture him by yourself.
Alternatively, you may wish to kill Godzilla. Godzilla is insanely difficult to kill, and the JSDF will not condone this action. They will attack you if you try to kill the monster, leaving you fighting a two-front battle.
Godzilla is at UWM strength. The Super X3 is equivalent to a 100 Day WM, and the Maser Tanks are each 30 Day WMs. Be wary that they are heavily armored, and their maser blasts are very powerful against single targets. In addition, being lightning bolts, they can conduct through the ranks of your own troops if they are susceptible to electricity.
Limit on Units: No UWMs allowed.
Difficulty:Destroying the JSDF: Medium
Capturing Godzilla: Medium
Killing Godzilla: Very Hard
Reward:Destroying the JSDF: Mothra Keychain (50 Day Artifact)
Capturing Godzilla: Land Moguera (50 Day WM)
Killing Godzilla: Godzilla Suit (100 Day Costume)
Useful Links:
Don’t Clog me, Bro!Recently, one of our employees found a note floating in the Trouble Center toilet as he was about to take a piss. Here’s what the note reads:
To anyone who is reading this, please send help to Grunty Industries immediately. My name is Loggo the Toilet. Next Friday is when the Grunty Special is served in the cafeteria. It’s infamous for, well, giving some particularly violent cases of diarrhea by the end of the work day. I understand that I’m a toilet, but I just cannot take it anymore. The Bear and Bird aren’t even around anymore to unclog me. Please help a poor old toilet! Job: Poor Loggo is a toilet that doesn’t want to be
on. Your objective is to protect him at all costs from the assault of workers in dire need of releasing their ass demons. The siege takes place in the workers’ quarters at the end of the work day. Enemies will come in three waves made up of the rabbit-like Skivvies, the shining robot globule Tintops, and the hulking Guvnors. At the end of the final wave, Weldar will enter the room because he needs to
out a lot of nuts.
Each wave features all enemy units. The first wave has a meager 30,000 troops. The second consists of 45,000, and the final wave consists of 60,000 and Weldar. Weldar is equal in power to a Hero, and his LW is his vacuum mouth. As for enemies, Skivvies are weak troops that attack with claw swipes, Tintops are fast robot spheres that spin at enemies, and Guvnors are slow, large brutes that carry big ass wrenches.
The mission is failed if someone manages to use Loggo. Protect him at all costs.
Limit on Units: No UWMs allowed. Only two War Machines allowed, and they must be human-sized as anything bigger can’t fit in the room. No more than 50,000 troops.
Difficulty: Hard
Reward:The Plunger of R’lyeh (75 Day Artifact)
<Filthy Heretics> A soldier dressed in some sort of carapace armor with a laser rifle marched in here earlier, spouting something about Chaos Marines, heresy and an emperor.
"Listen mate, ya gotta help us! My entire regiment's pinned down a few dozen kilometers to the north! It was Chaos Space Marines, no idea where the bastards came from but they're sure angry. I barely managed to get out and come here. We need help, bad!They're powerful, but the Emperor guides us, and with a few thousand more soldiers we could take 'em down easy! Careful though, they're led by a Demon Prince, and he's right powerful! Conjured up Chaos Storms all around us, so you'll have a hard time getting in any more than a medium sized number of reinforcements!" Job: Assist the Imperial Guardsmen in killing the Chaos Space Marines and their leader. The Chaos Space Marines are gun-wielding ubers, while the Demon Prince in a 50 day WM which has a large, powerful sword it can use in close combat, as well as being able to fire off psychic energy projectiles. They are currently in an entrenched position.
Limit on Units: 5,000 troops and 50 days of WM
Difficulty: Medium (You'll have equal forces, but they're in a defensive position which you'll have to break through)
Reward: 1x Rune of Tzeentch (50 day artifact)
<Power... Overwhelming> A mouthless fellow with energy knives protruding from his arms and a full set of golden armor came in today. Had a creepy voice too.
"Nal'Adon Ak'tuumb, friend. Two of our Mergings have failed, and left the resulting Archons not only ridiculously powerful but also insane. They've already destroyed our Nexus, and our probes cannot rebuild until they are gone! Unfortunately, the Khala forbids us from harming those of our own race (though those two have no problem doing so). However, Aiur has permitted us to hire mercenaries to do the job for us-" A sudden hologram appeared next to the Zealot. It was of a massive, roiling blue creature. It spoke in a booming, reverberating voice.
"Nel'Arun, Mel'adon! This heretic lies. We were fools before we became As One, but now we see the truth!They have defied the Khala and must be put down! We can provide you with some of our immense power, should you complete the task..." The Zealot looked around nervously and hastily exited the building.
Job: Either destroy the Archons (two 100 day war machines with a powerful explosive energy beam and recharging damage shields) or the Protoss forces (25,000 Zealot tanky melee units, 10,000 Uber Stalker ranged units, two 20 day Immortal WMs)
Limit on Units: No UWMs, no Heroes (Army); max of two Heroes (Bandits); no uber transport (Mercs)
Difficulty: Hard (Archons); Hard-Very Hard (Protoss)
Reward: For helping the Protoss: Carrier (80 day WM)
For helping the Archons: Psyonic barrier (50 day artifact)
Assassination Protocols.... Active A holotape is found on the ground near your base, it's unknown if it is meant for you or not. Upon playing it, a blue hologram of an imposing bipedal droid appears and begins insulting you.
"Salutation: Hello there, organic meatbags. I am HK-47, purger of all sloshy and liquidious bags of flesh around the galaxy. Addendum: Well, most meatbags anyway. I've never liked them, except when they've been reduced into an ash pile by a high-powered blaster carbine. Transitional Statement: In any case, I have a job offer for you that I assure you is not using you in the slightest. You have my sincere and honest word, meatbags."
Job: HK-47 is assassinating the commanding officer of a compound of mercenaries in the jungle, you must deal with the main force of them by either killing or distracting them for enough time so that the deed can be done. After that, HK-47 will return to you and pay you for your distraction by trying to kill you. You can either run from him or attempt to defeat him for greater reward.
Limit on Units: Up to two Officers (not UWM), up to 100,000 troop strength (ubers count as 5), Hero, and up to two WM's (excluding Officer WM).
Difficulty:Medium- Eliminate the mercenary group's main force or distract them long enough for HK (if you distract them, HK will kill them all in quick succession). The enemy group consists of 12,000 enemy mercs at uber strength equipped with bayonetted assault weapons, power armor, explosives, sniper rifles, flamethrowers, and shotguns (weapons are dispersed between them all randomly). The mercs also have a 60 Day VTOL Gunship WM that has assault plating, two miniguns, and a homing missile launcher. You only need to distract them for half an hour, though if you manage to kill them faster than that, the next step begins automatically.
Hard- The rusty red, legendary Assassin Droid himself has come for you. HK is Superhero strength, has a fast-firing, accurate blaster carbine (LW), a flamethrower, a personal energy shield to absorb damage, heavy armor, toxic gas canisters (good against meatbags and poisons), and a Red Lightsaber for close encounters and to reflect projectiles. Surprisingly agile for a droid, he can dodge well and has jet boosts on his back for limited flight. After defeating him (by getting him down to low health, he cannot be killed), he will cloak, curse you, and retreat.... for now.
Reward:
Medium- HK-47's Blaster Rifle (Artifact 50 Days)
Hard- Defective HK-50 (Artifact 100 Days)
Book of PropheciesOne day my dad thought it would be a hilarious idea if he cursed my girlfriend to wander through dimensions until the day she died. I'm quite frankly pissed about that, and I want some revenge. My people have this book that they guard that supposedly tells the future and holds some dark prophecy mumbo-jumbo. I want it. So, if you could get that for me, then I can handle the rest from there and kill those smug bastards.
Job: One of two options:
A. Steal the Dark Prognosticus and deliver it to Blumiere
B. Kill every last single member of the Tribe of Darkness (besides Blumiere, though you can kill him too if your feeling extra-dickish)
Limits: 40000 troops, 100 days of WM, one hero
Difficulty:Job A: A simple get-in, get-out situation. Easy.
Job B: The Tribe of Darkness consists of 20000 members, all uber strength, and the tribe elder, who's Hero strength. Hard.
Rewards:Job A: Dark Prognosticus Notebook (30 day artifact)
Job B: Dark Prognosticus (80 day artifact)
Additional Information:
Tribe Members: People(?) who have lived their entire lives guarding the Dark Prognosticus. Being cut off from the other worlds, they aren't exactly used to sneaky tactics or anything like it, but in straight-up combat, they are quite powerful, being skilled with many weapons and capable of using mildly-powerful magic for ranged attacks.
Tribe Elder
The Tribe Elder has lived amongst the people for nearly a hundred years, making him quite intelligible and a master of arcane arts. He prefers to fight at a range rather than in close combat, but he can give you a mean whack to the head with his magic book.
Active Abilities:
Fireball (40 days): standard fireball launching technique everyone already knows about. Can hit from up to 50 feet away.
Thunder (30 days): The Tribe Elder will call down lightning on a specific spot up to 100 feet away. Can short-circuit machinery.
Tornado (50 days): The Tribe Elder will call down a tornado, which will run about for the entirety of the update. Can only be used once every two updates, and any creature/machine caught near the tornado will get sucked in and flung off in a random direction 150 feet away. And I mean any creature; aside from the Elder himself, nothing is safe from this attack unless it is firmly rooted into the ground.
Void (80 days): The darkest of his arcane magic, the Tribe Elder will create a miniature black hole in front of him, which will suck in any enemy unit within 10 feet of it, sending said enemy unit(s) through a world of hurt, and then spitting them back out. OaB
Passive Abilities:
Magic Guard (40 days): Seeing as how the Tribe Elder is a master at magic, it should come at no surprise that any magic attack will do less damage to him.
Wisdom (40 days): With age is said to come wisdom, and the Elder has plenty of that. He is much more likely to spot traps or weakness than the average hero.
Legendary Weapon: Book of Magic
It's your standard book of magic, though it's been enchanted so that only the Elder can use it. Can hurt if applied to the head.
WishmakerI formerly served under the Prince of Ivalice, whom has gone missing. Rumors state that he is in the valley of Ambervale, along with...something. A strange creature capable of granting wishes. I want you to get the Prince out of there before any harm may befall him...
Jobs: Two options:
Job A: Rescue Prince Mewt
Job B: Slay the Li-Grim
Limits: One (super)hero, 150 days of WM
Difficulty:Job A: The Prince is being guarded by the Li-Grim and a few summoned Totemas (2 of them, 60 days each), who will make life a living hell for you if they corner you. Hard.
Job B: Slay the Li-Grim, a Superhero strength creature wielding ridiculously overblown powers and will beat your ass five ways to Sunday. Stupidly hard.
Rewards:Job A: Babus (80 day Battle Butler WM)
Job B: 3 Totema Crystals (50 day Totema Summon artifacts)
Additional Information:
Adrammelech (60 days) HOLY
RUN IT'S A GODDAMN DRAGON
Anyways, Adammelech is a servant of the Li-Grim and is in general a physical powerhouse, making him much weaker to magic-based attacks. Being a dragon, flying and fire-breathing are standard, but he can tear you apart with his claws or any of his special abilities.
Judgement Bolt: Adrammelech creates a big storm that will drop a massive lightning bolt on his designated target. OaB
Howl of Rage: He roars so loudly, that any enemy near his vicinity will be cowering in terror, reducing the enemy's speed for half of the update.
Lightspeed: Once Adrammelech spots a target, he can zip over to it almost instantaneously, unless something BIG gets in the way.
Mateus (60 days): In contrast to Adrammelech, Mateus is more of a magical powerhouse than a physical one, leaving her prone to physical damage.
Thundaga: See Judgement Bolt above, only weaker and not a OaB.
Star Cross: Mateus will make it rain Holy energy down upon the entire battlefield, dealing damage to any enemy caught in the blasts. OaB
Spellbind: If your a magical unit, kiss your usefulness good-bye. If Mateus uses this on a unit, then they can't use magic attacks for the remainder of the update.
Presence: Basically, Mateus can sense whenever there is a presence near her. Even though she might not be able to spot said presence, it helps her to predict sneak attacks or determine where cloaked units are.
Remedi, the Wishmaker This creature, posing as Mewt's mother, has managed to take him to the Ambervale, where they live in ignorance of the fact that the real Remidi died and that this thing could blow Mewt up just by accidentally murmuring something. The Li-Grim (Remedi) is a creature made of the wishes every person has, and comes equipped with ridiculously powerful magic.
Active Abilities: Lawshift (50 days): Just how powerful are Remedi's magics? SO POWERFUL THAT REALITY WILL BE WARPED BY THEM. Specifically, when Remedi uses this ability, she can change how specific objects can work or of what material they're made of. So, that big tank you have will suddenly shoot pieces of ham at people, or will suddenly be made out of chocolate. Anything below 50 days in strength will be affected by this spell for the duration of the update, but anything tougher will have the effects wear off faster. A once an update ability.
Amber Gleam (100 days): This spell allows Remedi to dispel abilities from other creatures, up to 100 days. The effects last an update. OaB
Alpha (30 days): Remedi will blast a foe from up to 50 feet away with intense magic.
Far Fist (20 days): Remedi will pick an area up to 50 feet away and create a shock wave of energy at the point that radiates out about 20 feet away, damaging anything withing the shock wave.
Saint Cross (40 days): Remedi will send out bursts of Holy energy in all directions, damaging anything near her.
Magi (100 days): Should Remedi use this on you, make peace with whatever you call a god. This intense magic spell feels pretty much like a miniature Big Bang. Whatever is hit with this, if it isn't flat out vaporized, will be reeling from the effects of being hit with what amounts to a culmination of practically every magic spell ever. OaB
Passive Abilities: Magic Absorb (40 days): Basically, Remedi can absorb any magical attack and regain health from it. Anything above 40 days will still deal damage, but with 40 days taken off from the attacks power.
Descent (60 days): As an assailant keeps attacking Remedi, he/she/it will find that attacks continue to get less effective on Remidi. As her health gets lower, her defense continues to increase, making her a tank at lower health levels.
Legendary Weapon: Genesis Rune A mythic rune rumored to hold the powers of creation. Remedi uses this to great affect, giving her the ability to alter the world on a whim.
LW abilities: Exodus (80 days): Using the rune, Remedi will make massive trees and plants overrun the area, complete with wildlife all around. Wildlife hostile towards YOU. So, in addition to the newly morphed terrain, hundreds of angry critters are now trying to eat you alive. The varmints won't cause damage, but will make everything a hassle, giving away your location and swarming you if you even try to move. OaB
Apocalypto (100 days): Using the rune, Remedi will create massive tectonic shifts (earthquakes, for the uneducated), which in turn will create volcanoes, which will in turn cover the area in lave and fling all kinds of debris into the air. For whatever reason, none of the debris or lave will head near or even harm Remedi, Mewt, or the totemas, but it will make life a living hell for any intruders in the Ambervale. OaB
Ripcircle (50 days): Using the rune, Remedi will forcibly remove a spherical chunk of existence (10 feet radius), damaging whatever is inside the circle. It also leaves the victim without any solid ground to stand on, further screwing him/her/it up. Cooldown of ten minutes.
Gaia (50 days): Using the rune, Remedi will create a spherical chunk of land (10 feet radius). Whatever is within the radius will be trapped within the sphere, making it hard for the would-be assailant to move. Cooldown of ten minutes.
No time to explain, bring me paper, please! Surely you can find some paper from somewhere in the town, right???
Job: 
, a hand that's coming out of a toilet, has asked you for paper, and it seems as if he's pretty desperate for it. Hey, everybody has ran out of paper once in a while, don't be rude and simply ignore him. Go get him some paper! The more the merrier, as the saying goes. However, it would be pretty easy to simply just get a single letter and hand it to him and be done with it. Couldn't be more simple, go out there, get some paper, and bring it back to the Clock Tower of Clock Town for
while the mad salesman is off to his usual haunts.
Limit on Units: No UWMs
Difficulty:Easy (the letter): The postman is carrying a letter. The postman is a 50 day WM who will guard the letter with his life, and if he ever believes his sworn duty is in danger than you can forget about using brute force on him, because ground up fairy dust makes him one of the fastest men alive. Once he deposits it into a mailbox after making his circuit throughout town you're outta luck, because nothing is gonna force it out of there.
Medium (treasure map): There are three crazy hobos that are a part of some sort of homeless gang or something that are telling anyone who'll listen about their find. They're happy as they've found a treasure map that will lead to great fortune and fame. You must get the treasure map from them, any means necessary. Their leader is a grease-haired hobo with sub-par linguistic skills who won't hesitate to get violent with his knife. The second vagrant is a taciturn man swaddled up in various coats and rags and conceals mysterious bottles underneath them. At the back of their group is a weak-looking bum that has a bunch of souvenirs, which appears to be some disturbing pictures, a dental drill and some sort of eyeball in a bottle. All three are 30 day WMs.
Hard (mayor's diary): The Mayor is seeking someone to get rid of his Diary, which he was stupid enough to record his shady business dealings in. Unfortunately there are a few people who want to blackmail the Mayor and are waiting out in the streets for whoever comes out of his house with the rather thick diary. You either must sneak past them, come to a peaceful conclusion with charisma, or fight them. The two leaders of the group are the equivalent of a 50 day WM each, but then there are five thugs in their employ that are only 10 day WMs.
Limit on Units: One hero or 100 days in war machines.
Reward:Easy: Mystery Gear (30 Day Artifact)
Medium: Tubby Hippo (50 Day WM)
Hard: Doomsday Clock (60 Day Artifact)
The WellHelp! For the love of all that is holy, please come help us! A group of troubled children of the town have went into the old drained well, and they have awakened whatever that was in there! There was a group of guards that went in to try and save the children, but it's not looking good up here either! There are Redeads all over the village, but I fear there are even more and perhaps worst monsters in the well. The children and guards are lost, and both the well and village are teeming with monsters, please help us!
Job: Monsters are pouring out from the well in the center of the village, and while the villagers are currently safe in their locked homes, they won't be safe if the Redeads are allowed to roam any longer. The Redeads are stronger than normal troops, but they are not as strong as an Uber, but they can paralyze things temporarily and absorb their life. There are 7,000 Redeads in the village. After the Redeads are taken down, the bottom of the well is all that remains. It is obviously preferred that you rescue both the children and the guards, which are in different parts of the well, hiding from the monsters. But the town won't truly be safe until the rest of the monsters in the well are taken out, especially Dead Hand. The Dead Hand has the strength of a hero, his LW being the swarm of hands it can summon underneath foes. The children are unfortunately trapped in the back of the Dead Hand's chamber. The Redeads in the bottom of the well are tougher and actually are uber unit strength, not to mention the Green Bubbles (the flaming gigantic green skulls flying through the well) which are 20 day strength WMs. There are three Green Bubbles flying through the Bottom of the Well, but they mainly just keep flying until they're taken down by whoever they keep hitting. In total, in the Bottom of the Well, there is 5,000 Uber Redeads, 3,000 Gibdos, 3,000 Keese, and the 3 twenty day Green Bubble war machines.
Limit on Units:Armies: No UWMs
Bandit: No more than 3 Heroes allowed
Difficulty:Easy (kill the Redeads in the village)
Hard (rescue the kids which are in the Dead Hand's chamber, meaning either sneaking past the Dead Hand or killing it, but sneaking past it doesn't give you the Very Hard reward)
Very Hard (clear out the entire well)
Rewards:Easy Gravekeeper Dampé (25 Day WM)
Hard Lens of Truth (60 Day Artifact)
Very Hard Dead Hand (100 Day WM)
Terrors in the Darkness Hello... this message comes to you f-f-from... Dim Well. Our town are the neighbor-bors of Night Springs and Bright Fa-fa-falls. The people in our town form... a nice and polite community, and we make sure to watch for things in the... the darkness, for the protection of our town. We extend a welcome to you... please join us.
Job: This strange message came all the way from a town called Dim Well to you. The way the man spoke seemed strange, and there seemed to be something ominous about the town. A man suddenly runs up to you screaming about the same town that the message was from, and how it was full of nothing but beings made of nothing but darkness and that you can never see the sun when inside Dim Well. He also says that the town have been sending messages to get foolhardy tourists to walk into the trap. The humans possessed by the Darkness are apparently led by a psychotic man dressed in a suit... the man pleads to you to at least kill the possessed beings, as he says that they're unable to be saved.
Limit on units: No UWMs
Difficulty:Easy (clear the town): Stepping into the dark town of Dim Well, there are nothing but shadows about. Thankfully, when entering the town, you found several crates full of flashlights in a crashed truck. The town is full of approximately 5,000 Taken within the town which are uber strength, which are capable of stealth, outspeeding their enemies, and of course swarming them while attacking with melee weapons. There is also one possessed Bulldozer that is a 50 day WM. They and the Bulldozer are invulnerable until you shine a flashlight on them. As you clear the town of those monsters, someone from the shadows watches you, and it isn't until you're finished that he chooses to reveal himself. That is when you must decide whether to fight this crazy bastard or run like hell.
Hard (defeat Mr. Scratch): This guy is a bit of a psycho, you know? He is in fact superhero strength, and his LW is a bag of knives. He can teleport from place to place, and he is extremely skilled with those knives, but he doesn't rely just on knives. He can fight pretty well unarmed as well, and has an infinite supply of throwing knives, even if you somehow get his LW away from him. He also slowly regenerates health if he's in the darkness, so you might want to keep that flashlight pointed towards him at all times, or some other source of light. When defeated, the darkness of the town shatters and the sun rises over Dim Well, and the light from it comes down and burns Mr. Scratch away.
Reward:Easy (can be gained if you clear the town but fail at or choose not to defeat Mr. Scratch): Mr. Scratch's Knife (40 day artifact)
Hard (gained from beating Mr. Scratch): Mr. Scratch costume (70 day costume)
The K'Sharra Prophecy Some worshipers at a shrine in the forest outside of a rural town want to speak to their beloved, demented deity but require some assistance in evoking him.... You need to find from the surrounding area some yarn, a head of lettuce, and a whet stone to bring to the altar to summon the Madgod. Once that is done, should you continue, you will have to go to the nearby village and cause a plague of rats somehow, and then find some way to kill off the livestock. If you're successful in completing that part of the prophecy, then the Madgod will finish the third sign and all you will have to do is return to the shrine.
You can quit this trouble at any time after finishing the first objective for different rewards. The area consists of the shrine, some isolated cottages around the area, the village of Borderwatch, a sheep farm, and a cave nearby. The village has many buildings to search, a central cooking fire for meetings, and notable people include a shaman who likes poisons, the angry town guard captain, and a pungent cheese-collecting barkeep. Keep in mind, the villagers might react with hostility and renounce the prophecy if you mess up in executing the signs or are caught in the act of either falsifying the signs or doing something considered illegal, which would displease the demented deity.
Job: Summon the Madgod and possibly complete the prophecy for him.
Limit on Units: Up to Two Officers of any kind, one Artifact can be brought as well.
Difficulty: Medium (due to the tasks and prudence involved in execution)
Reward: (varies, only receive one)
1. Summon Madgod and quit or fail the first sign of the prophecy- Tome of Haskill (20 Day Artifact that summons the Madgod's lieutenant to distract foes with a monologue)
2. Successfully complete the first sign and quit or fail to complete the second sign- Olroy Cheese (34 Day Artifact that brings a vermin to the battlefield to hinder and distract foes and bring disease)
3. Successfully complete the prophecy and return to the shrine The Wabbajack (50 Day Artifact staff that can turn enemies into random objects for a period of time depending on strength)
Part 1
Kakariko Village was silent and forlorn, it's famed windmill that dominated the landscape no longer spinning. Every now and then a villager would hear sounds of shuffling just outside their windows and would prey that corpses had no sense of smell. Homes were boarded up with planks and furniture, with the occasional house showing signs of this security breached having no signs of life within beyond half-devoured cadavers. Loud shrieks would pierce the gloomy air, followed by sounds of muffled screams before everything faded to silence once more.
In retrospect, they probably shouldn't have lived above a tomb of evil and then built a graveyard right next to their residences.
A terrified courier accompanied Shinjiro Taiga. It was not the Redeads he feared- he could have easily lived a new life elsewhere- but the village's saviors. The march of artificial creatures he guided were far more terrifying. This legion of unnatural beings extended as far as he could see. He feared what the great Impa would think of these atrocities and wondered where it was their lack of faith that brought this tragedy upon them.
But of course, Shinjiro thought none of this. He would happily help this village in need of a hero. The village was quickly in his sight. Redeads were beginning to stir due to all the activity from the thousands of robots. Rotting features changed to something that appeared to be confusion. Where was the flesh to devour?
"STAR Division, move out!" What happened next could have only been described as massacre.
As the countless machines approached the undead, several Redeads let out a blood-curdling scream that had paralyzed all previous prey in their tracks. But the STARs were unaffected by the sound that had claimed many lives. Before they could attempt an attack, steel and powder torn their flesh and ended the borrowed life of the unholy abominations. Redeads would use their timeless tactics and latch their bodies onto the lifeless metal in an attempt to drain life, but these gundams had an alloy that would negate their ability to steal life force and proceed to end their time in this world. They were neither fast enough to run nor able to leave so much as a dent in the machines, swathes of the undead being obliterated without the option of fight or flight as they had often brought upon humans. The courier who accompanied Shinjiro saw this slaughter with both respect and fear of this.
Soon there was but a single creature left,
more horrible and unholy than anything that had proceeded it. Before it could implore of these foreign forces, it was mercilessly destroyed. Shinjiro turned to the messenger, who was shocked into silence by the display he had just witnessed.
"You said something about a well?"
----
Legends were told of the Shadow Temple by old villagers who remembered the tales from when they were mere children. It was said the that the Shadow Temple was the point where all evil of the land was to be contained, concentrated within the ancient stones deep beneath the earth. Hatred, jealousy, greed... All the sins of man were to be concealed from sight and forgotten, so that they may live in the light and refuse to acknowledge the darkness that lived within them. But the evil began to manifest in new ways that spread it's influence outside the confines of the tomb. Citizens would find themselves driven mad over their crimes, being lured into the Shadow Temple in the dead of night to end their lives and spill their blood upon the cold stone. Gallows, whipping posts, guillotines began to appear, with fresh blood always appearing overnight no matter what precautions were put in place.
Eventually it was learned that a local resident of the village above the temple experienced none of the problems occurring in other villagers. The man who could see the truth, they called him, took it upon himself to seal away the evil with an artifact that had been passed down. With several generations of sages to guard over it, the Shadow Temple faded from memory and was sealed away. The entrance was filled in with solid rock, and hidden by an innocuous structure. Everything was peaceful for centuries to come. That is, until the passing of the last heir of the seer of truth...
Shinjiro cleared away several meters of dirt and rock. The passage was far to small to accommodate any STARs, and especially not a whole army of them. Perhaps it was a bit excessive to bring so much firepower along with him... No matter.
i627.photobucket.com/albums/tt358/spirefour/Spire-DeadHand.png
---
Credits:
ReDolan provided in some weird coincidence a long time ago by TGG
Gibdolan©®℗™ CHARMILLIONAIRE
Part 1
Kakariko Village was silent and forlorn, it's famed windmill that dominated the landscape no longer spinning. Every now and then a villager would hear sounds of shuffling just outside their windows and would prey that corpses had no sense of smell. Homes were boarded up with planks and furniture, with the occasional house showing signs of this security breached having no signs of life within beyond half-devoured cadavers. Loud shrieks would pierce the gloomy air, followed by sounds of muffled screams before everything faded to silence once more.
In retrospect, they probably shouldn't have lived above a tomb of evil and then built a graveyard right next to their residences.
A terrified courier accompanied Shinjiro Taiga. It was not the Redeads he feared- he could have easily lived a new life elsewhere- but the village's saviors. The march of artificial creatures he guided were far more terrifying. This legion of unnatural beings extended as far as he could see. He feared what the great Impa would think of these atrocities and wondered where it was their lack of faith that brought this tragedy upon them.
But of course, Shinjiro thought none of this. He would happily help this village in need of a hero. The village was quickly in his sight. Redeads were beginning to stir due to all the activity from the thousands of robots. Rotting features changed to something that appeared to be confusion. Where was the flesh to devour?
"STAR Division, move out!" What happened next could have only been described as massacre.
As the countless machines approached the undead, several Redeads let out a blood-curdling scream that had paralyzed all previous prey in their tracks. But the STARs were unaffected by the sound that had claimed many lives. Before they could attempt an attack, steel and powder torn their flesh and ended the borrowed life of the unholy abominations. Redeads would use their timeless tactics and latch their bodies onto the lifeless metal in an attempt to drain life, but these gundams had an alloy that would negate their ability to steal life force and proceed to end their time in this world. They were neither fast enough to run nor able to leave so much as a dent in the machines, swathes of the undead being obliterated without the option of fight or flight as they had often brought upon humans. The courier who accompanied Shinjiro saw this slaughter with both respect and fear of this.
Soon there was but a single creature left,
more horrible and unholy than anything that had proceeded it. Before it could implore of these foreign forces, it was mercilessly destroyed. Shinjiro turned to the messenger, who was shocked into silence by the display he had just witnessed.
"You said something about a well?"
-----
Legends were told of the Shadow Temple by old villagers who remembered the tales from when they were mere children. It was said the that the Shadow Temple was the point where all evil of the land was to be contained, concentrated within the ancient stones deep beneath the earth. Hatred, jealousy, greed... All the sins of man were to be concealed from sight and forgotten, so that they may live in the light and refuse to acknowledge the darkness that lived within them. But the evil began to manifest in new ways that spread it's influence outside the confines of the tomb. Citizens would find themselves driven mad over their crimes, being lured into the Shadow Temple in the dead of night to end their lives and spill their blood upon the cold stone. Gallows, whipping posts, guillotines began to appear, with fresh blood always appearing overnight no matter what precautions were put in place.
Eventually it was learned that a local resident of the village above the temple experienced none of the problems occurring in other villagers. The man who could see the truth, they called him, took it upon himself to seal away the evil with an artifact that had been passed down. With several generations of sages to guard over it, the Shadow Temple faded from memory and was sealed away. The entrance was filled in with solid rock, and hidden by an innocuous structure. Everything was peaceful for centuries to come. That is, until the passing of the last heir of the seer of truth...
Shinjiro cleared away several meters of dirt and rock. The passage was far to small to accommodate any STARs, and especially not a whole army of them. Perhaps it was a bit excessive to bring so much firepower along with him... Fortunately, the temple itself was more vertically-tolerate. The remains of a giant stone door was in ruins and opened up into a room that diverged into two dark passages. One had a recent trail of blood leading down the path, large enough to have been two or three people. One was entirely red.
A skeleton was crucified in the middle of these, lacking both arms and a message painted above it in smeared blood that read "ALL ROADS LEAD TO DAMNATION".
Well, at least they went through the trouble of a greeting.
"I know this place looks grim, but there's terrified citizens counting on us. I'll lead the effort to kill the beast. Everyone else, search for the captives..." Shinjiro didn't want to think how much of the captives they might find. Shinjiro and
Cheiron Sagitta led the way down the blood-matted path, while Subaru and Gemini went to clear out the other sections of the temple. Division of the troops were a simple matter of two continuous supply lines, as the narrow opening would keep them for quite some time. Ungodly amounts of troops did have their setbacks.
---
It wasn't long before the army encountered the first of the enemies. ReDeads who have never seen the light of day turned towards those unnatural beings that brought with them the blinding pain.
These weren't the same as the soft-skinned zombies that ventured above. Their skin had petrified and became as hard as stone, and did not move without purpose. They rushed upon the newcomers and leap onto the glaring eyes that tormented them with their gaze. All adopted this attack pattern and covered the machines with their bodies, prying away their weapons and turning it on them to reach the kernel of life that hid from them in their shell. Lead and steel glanced off their ancient flesh and downed only a few of the initial charge. Gibdos were not nearly as strong as these uber ReDeads, but they emerged from the dark and threw themselves in the way of the STARs that already had trouble navigating the small passages, proving themselves hazardous even in re-death.
This blockage did not last long before Shinjiro's blades grew red. With a blur of speed he sliced through the corpses of all the undead clogging the way, clearing most of it out of the way. It didn't take long for more to flood the path.
Zombies are notoriously bad at improvising, so the next hour is occupied by a repetitive pattern of clogging and slaughter. Piercing screams were ever-present, from both simple-minded hungry and pain. While seemingly pointless, this did have a more subtle effect of demoralizing and deafening soldiers. In the end they were only the warm-up for the true monster.
Dead Hand was
enjoying it's feast upon the young when it was interrupted from it's ritual by it's
worst minions who deserved nothing less than an incinerator. They fled rather than waste their borrowed time in stalling those who interrupted his important business, and so he gave the
ugly beings no time to implore him for mercy and ate them whole.
The number of dead in the well was falling at a critical rate, and it could hear the sounds of clashing metal nearby. The chorus of piercing screams that was omnipresent in the Temple faded as remaining ReDeads were given a proper burial. More of it's minions fled into the room to their lord in hopes of survival. It devoured them all. The tunnel to it's dark cavern was lit with red as Shinjiro finished off the blockade with his Pnema-infused odachis.
Dead Hand
eyed the newcomers like a dingo watches a human baby. That is to say, with hunger.
---
Kurobus were having an easier time navigating the well thanks to their stealth. Keese were used to the darkness and more adept at locating them unlike the blood lust of the zombies, but proved easy to silence. Thanks to the Void Crystal attached to Subaru's Night Lotus STAR, any attempts by the undead to impede their efforts and block the way was cut down before it could become an annoyance. Much more progress was made through this method, although Shinjiro's Mad Tiger's Breath was more efficient at killing them.
NOTE TO SELF: CONTINUE BORING STUFF LATER.
---
The Dead Hand made the first move. It plucked a Green Bubble from the air with an arm sprouting from the ceiling at flung it at Shinjiro. Odachis were raised in defense as he preformed Raging Tiger's Fang to
, a hand that's coming out of a toilet, has asked you for paper, and it seems as if he's pretty desperate for it. Hey, everybody has ran out of paper once in a while, don't be rude and simply ignore him. Go get him some paper! The more the merrier, as the saying goes. However, it would be pretty easy to simply just get a single letter and hand it to him and be done with it. Couldn't be more simple, go out there, get some paper, and bring it back to the Clock Tower of Clock Town for