The Epic of the Yarn

[sineG yuG lareneG]

Prologue

Yin-Yarn was outraged.

"After my conquest of Dreamland, the other villains declare that I don't count as successful. Apparently I'm not considered a true Kirby enemy? One of the greatest villains is a bleeding eyeball, for NOVA's sake!"

Squashini, the Jack-o-Lantern magician, was doing his best to calm him down.

"Here at Patch Land, we'll always consider you the greatest-"

"THAT'S NOTHING TO BOAST OF! Look at this place!"

He gestures toward the bright, adorable storybook environment of Quilty Square, with colorful inhabitants going about their daily lives.

"No, Patch Land is no place to make a name for myself... To be great, I must be compared to something lesser... I'll go and show those villains. Yes, I'll go and find them, hunt them down... Then there'll be no opposition for my claim!"

"Lord Yin, sir, perhaps you should not be so hasty in your decisions..."

"No," he declared as he pulled out a sock, "I shall set out this instant."

"B-but the army, it's just beginning. Who will look over things?"

RAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWR.

"Fangora seems to volunteer. He'll need his monthly scrubbing, so if I were you, I'd tend to those Firetruck Metamatos."

He began rummaging around for the list of villains.

"Sir, I don't think that having a dragon-"

"And I don't pay creepy Jack-o-Lanterns to think. Who else would lead the army? Squid-with-a-hat-fetish? Self-roasting chicken? Those guys don't exactly strike fear into people. No, if I can't have someone with brains leading the army, it better be the bulkiest. Ah, here we are."

With paper in hand, he began opening the magical sock that would take him to Dreamland.

"But sir, if you'd give me a chance, I'm sure I could-"

Yin-Yarn had gone.

Squashini sighed.

RAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWR.

Looks like I have Metamatos to grow, he thought bitterly as he prepared to suffer at the hands, or rather, claws, of the current leader.

[sineG yuG lareneG]

Prologue

Yin-Yarn was renowned as the evil sorcerer of Patch Land, but he hadn't always been evil. He hadn't even been a sorcerer. Though you wouldn't know it, he had been born in Dreamland. Why, people who knew him then would have said he lived a perfectly normal, albeit lonely, life, and would have never imagined what he would become... Perhaps he would have continued to have a normal life, had he never found those sewing needles...

Dreamland wasn't too bad if you had grew up in it; creatures were relatively peaceful. The royal linage generally contented themselves with periodic taxes. The only thing feared throughout the entire galaxy was Dark Matter, but for Dark Matter to come as far as Popstar was unheard of.

But Yin-Yarn was never fond of the place. He had no friends, no talent. The only thing he could do properly was sew, but perhaps that was one of the reasons he was out casted, for he had been known to have strange powers. He endured the insults only with the aid of the strange world he had found, the entrance to which was a sock he had knit.

He had never known how Patch Land came to be; perhaps it was due to his desire of a world he belonged it, perhaps he had simply discovered a means to enter a world long forgotten. But that was in another life, one before he had thirst for power. He has few recollections of what he deems his past life, but the end of it was still clear in his mind.

==============================================

Grass Land was one of the many areas of Patch Land, full of wildlife and forests. But these forests, though happy and cheerful, were the home of powers once feared, long forgotten, buried as if to forget the horrors that it could create...

To imagine children playing here would have been inconceivable to those who feared the aforementioned, but to the children, this act was completely normal.

Indeed, a foreboding temple would have struck fear into the hearts of those who knew what it held, but a child would have strolled right in due to curiosity, not giving it a second thought.

Yin-Yarn, perhaps thinking simply of finding treasure within such a mysterious place, or perhaps nothing but adventure, does not remember much of what happened there. He only remembers coming across some ancient artifacts, then the voices in his head, the feeling of power, the longing for more...

[sineG yuG lareneG]

Part 2

"...and these drinks aren't even actual alcohol. This is just diet Pepsi with cough medicine crudely mixed into it."

Squashini, ever the loyal captain, was busy complaining about the closest thing they had to a bar in Patch Land.

"What the hell is the point in these beverages, anyway? They go right through us." He complained as his diet Pepsi/cough medicine concoction splashed against the floor.

"You're cleaning that, mate. And what do you have to complain about? Didn't ye boss go mad and run off to that dream place?"

"If we're lucky, we won't see 'em for a few months or so. "

"Ya think he'll actual come back alive? S'far as everyone knows, all he's got is a bunch of knitting needles."

"You wouldn't believe it, but he's an actual sorcerer."

"Magic? Ya mean like ye fancy hats you pull rabbits outta?"

"Nah, we just make a slit in the top and rig the table... His needles are some ancient artifacts or something. I've seen them move before... they give me the creeps, but they must have some dark magic in 'em. That eyeball freak he's hunting down bleeds something called Dark Matter. That outta be used for something magical..."

==============================================

Yin-Yarn wasn't just gonna rampage around Dreamland like some idiot; Rampaging would be unbefitting for one of his status. (Self-Proclaimed Most Successful Villain Ever)

No, he had a specific list of targets.

ZERO
DARK MIND
NIGHTMARE
MARX
META KNIGHT
DEDEDE

Dedede never left his castle, so he'd have a hard time busting in. Nothing impossible, but he'd prefer to deal with it later.

Meta Knight was always wandering around on his battleship, so he'd be as hard to get to as Dedede. He'd probably be left for last.

Marx wandered the galaxy. Yin-Yarn had no idea where that kid is, so he'd need to find some more info on that later.

Nightmare and Dark Mind probably lived in some parallel dimension. He assumed it worked like his sock to Patch Land, so he'd need more info as well.

That only left Zero. His location would be somewhat easier, since Yin-Yarn knew he devotes his entire existence from draining happiness, so he'd linger somewhere fairly new that's cheerful and happy. Yin-Yarn had even admitted that he was one of the finest, after all.

So Yin-Yarn knew where the freak should be, but the problem was where that place would be. Zero was the only source of Dark Matter in the universe, so whoever uses that stuff would have to go and find him. But he was the very essence of evil, so he probably wouldn't just give out his street address to anyone who asked; If he even had a street address. Where would you find a giant, bleeding eye devoted to sucking the happiness out of life?



"...You're trying to find a Disneyland on Popstar?" Inquired a Waddle Dee who wasn't sure he heard the strange string fella correctly.

"Yes, did you not hear me? I'm looking for a giant, bleeding, disembodied eye hiding out at Disneyland."

"Sir, I think you need to see-" The Waddle Dee was cut off by an exclamation as Yin-Yarn headed off to a nearby theme park resembling a castle.

The bewildered Waddle Dee walked off, shaking his head and muttering something about "that funky mushroom land."

==============================================

Idiot... PAY ATTENTION!

"Hmm? Who's there?" Yin-Yarn had completely forgotten why he had even came to the Disneyland in the unlikeliest of places.

Of all the people we could have served, we're stuck with this idiot... There's killing to be done, and you're going on stupid rides like The Adventures of Winne the Pooh![/color][/i]

"Hey, it's not stupid... Wait, you're these knitting needles I'm using? I always thought that moving around was just a nest of termites."

Yin-Yarn had begun attracting stares (as if being made of yarn wasn't strange enough.) People began hurrying their kids away from them.

Just take out that source of dark energy that would have been a master worthy of serving.

"Right, came here to kill people. Where do I need to go?"

Yin-Yarn didn't notice the people running away from him, or the guards pointing in his direction.

Just head through that door that says "No Admittance."

"I don't know, it says- ouch! You don't have to be forceful like that."

Finally getting done arguing and slipping through security that had begun to confront him (why, he couldn't possibly imagine) he found that the door actually lead to some trippy zone with glowing spots everywhere that Yin-Yarn assumed was the Hyper Zone. A dark shadow emerged. It quickly became apparent that it was a giant eyeball, oozing blood everywhere.

"Greetings, fellow Kirby villain. It's nothing personal, but you're messing up my status, so you're gonna have to die. However, I commend you on your gruesome appearance, but I don't think cutting yourself is very wise in a tactic sense-"

Zero didn't spare any time for words; cutting himself open, a spurt of blood came through, hurtling straight through the air as a deadly projectile.

Thinking quickly, Yin-Yarn knitted a wall in front of himself seconds before impact, narrowly avoiding the sadist attack of Zero, only to have three more crash into it. His poorly made wall crumbled.

There was no cover; he would have to prevent the next attack before Zero regained enough blood.

Unleashing what he hoped would work, Yin-Yarn knit Soochers; small, thread-like creatures that could stitch things together. As Zero cut himself open to launch more bloody projectiles, the wounds sealed up. He must have been able to regenerate blood in an instant, because Zero had began to develop bulges all over his body. It was a gruesome sight to see, a bloodshot eye gushing blood straight through what appeared to be the iris.

Zero's form could hold no more blood. With a sickening pop, what appear to be a blood-red eye burst out of his form like a cannon, trailing blood through the technocolored air of the Hyper Zone. As quickly as it had appeared, dark shadows covered it, leaving it covered in some sort of orange armor. As more shadows covered it, it grew in size, and rapidly began multiplying.

A steady stream of them were hurtling toward him. Yin-Yarn doubted whether he could actually create something that would stop him in their tracks. Turning around, he rushed back through the door he had came through.

==============================================

"Yeah, there's been a psychopath walking around, talking to himself and saying something about-"

The security guard never finished his sentence. A Zero spawn collided with him while a stream rushed by after Yin-Yarn. Screams filled the air. Yin-Yarn ducked into a souvenir shop and whipped up a yarn grating to keep them off for a moment.

Obviously, he couldn't just rush out there and try to take on a swarm of armored matter. They were devoid of all emotions, so he probably couldn't surprise them. He could try to use his surroundings to his advantage, but he wasn't quite sure how to go about that.

Then he remembered it was also New Years. Places like this celebrated with fireworks, right? A cascade of fireworks should do some damage.

Yin-Yarn finally turned his attention to the Zero spawns that were all trying to get past his yarn grating, but they mustn't be able to do more than ram because they had made no headway. That gave him an idea of how to break away. As they prepared to charge, he caused the yarn to fall away seconds before impact, causing them to topple over shelves of merchandise.

Having bought a few seconds of time, Yin-Yarn ran outside. But after being chased by the spawn, he had forgotten about the one spawning them; He wasn't sure how it managed to get through the door, but it was certainly Zero he was seeing eye-to-eye. Yin-Yarn imagined it would have a creepy looking smile right now if it was more than an eye.

Having been caught off guard, Yin-Yarn did something stupid that probably shouldn't have worked: he jammed one of his needles through it's eye.

It must still have powers he hadn't discovered, but Zero's form flickered, and then it appeared to melt into a dark substance that he assumed was Dark Matter. As it pooled around his feet, it appeared to be drawn into his unlikely weapons.

Finally deciding it was dead, he began to head back. As he began walking through Disneyland covered in fresh blood, he felt compelled to remark:

"I must admit, he was an incredibly gruesome boss for an E game."



As he set out for his next target, coated in blood and wearing a Mickey Mouse hat, he gave the Waddle Dee he had encountered earlier a merry wave. The Waddle Dee resolved to check himself into an insane asylum later that day.

[sineG yuG lareneG]

Part 3

While Squashini was waking up in a back ally missing his clothes, Yin-Yarn was hunting down his next target.

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It was a quiet day in Dreamland. Kirby had once again restored peace to the constantly troubled lands, and people resumed their daily lives.