Escape from Purgatory

[sineG yuG lareneG]

Part 1: Death of the Shy Guys

Another quite day in Toad Town. The Shy Guys lounged about, their leader apparently not wanting to wage war at the moment. In fact, their leader didn't seem to want to do... anything, really. General Guy seemed to have no idea what to do. Not that they minded. It reminded them of the older days, when the biggest threat they had to deal with was a plumber.

Some people assumed General Guy had gone pacifist, some of the survivors of the first Shy Guy army feared he had some massive take down planned. But the truth was, he just didn't have it in him anymore. His inspiration was gone. What could he forge from the junk he got from that cheap Snifit? He had made weapons out of just about anything, but now...

And the same applied to nearly everything. What vehicles could he rig now? What mystical masks would he make his own? It was like the spirit of the army had departed. Frustrated, he muttered unprofessionally and kicked over the waste bin next to the desk in his office he had "acquired" from the previous owner. He almost didn't notice the Shy Squad entering the room.

"Sir... erm, is there a problem?" A Shy Guy without any defining characteristics spoke.

"No, I simply... spilled some chocolate milk."

"That... doesn't really make sense..."

"Neither does that negative allowance you've just earned. Flamer, if you don't stop scattering ash on that rug you'll also be lacking lunch money." Both Shy Guys in question slunk behind a Shy Guy in a trench coat. A Medi Guy stepped forward as the Shy Guys muttered angrily about candy.

"Well, sir, we just want to bring to your attention that we've received no contact from any other factions... except for a rather immature letter from the Goombas."

"Dump some feces on a Pyro Guy and send the unlucky soul to them. Is that all?"

"You aren't concerned?"

"So we haven't got any pen pals, big deal. Not the first time I've been short on allies. If there's nothing else to be addressed, then you are dismissed."

As General Guy sat back down, the Shy Squad made a strangled sort of noise.

"Guys, I'm in no mood to play around- Guys?"

Johnathan, the unofficial leader of the Shy Squad appeared to be frozen in the middle of his muttering. Flamer's flames were unmoving, and Jack was caught in an embarrassing stance with his hand up his mask. McPerson looked no different.

General Guy watched in horror as the color drained from their robes. The gray tones emanated from them, making the whole room look like an old photograph. He got up in alarm and rushed outside, to see that Toads and Shy Guys everywhere were frozen in a picture of everyday life. Even the sky slowly faded to gray.

"W-What's going on here? Goombard, is this one of your new tricks? Show yourselves!"

But as far as he could see, no enemies were lying in wait. It appeared General Guy was the only being not affected by this mysterious event.

General Guy felt a breeze behind him. He couldn't locate the source, but it grew steadily stronger. Things around him were turned to dust and blown away; the sky turned dark, buildings were uprooted, the ground fell away... General Guy was plunged into a dark abyss, sure he wouldn't survive this unexplainable situation...

---

Was he dead? No... he couldn't recall what happened to him after he was hit by the DERP, but he was sure this wasn't how he experienced it.

Then where was he? He was sure he hadn't been here before... but yet, it all seemed vaguely familiar. He was in a dark cell, devoid of any personal marks. Looking past dark bars, he could see a hallway stretching far into both directions before being consumed by darkness. He couldn't see above, but it appeared there was a sign above his cell.

"Back so soon?"

He glanced across his prison and saw a Toad dressed in a labcoat. Scrawls all over the walls indicated that he had been here for quite a while But what was really significant about his appearance were his arms; his right arm was replaced with a gold-plated cybernetic arm, the fingers ending in small rods, similar to audio jacks. Rather than another arm, his other limb appeared to be a tentacle covered in pustules. It was a sickening sight. General Guy must have been staring, because the toad spoke up.

"I was once quite fascinated in genetic experiments. As you can see, not all the experiments I conducted were safe."

"What to you mean by 'again,' Mr...?"

"You may address me as Infini T. I have often been identified as San T., but that time is long past. According to the plaque set above your cell, this isn't the first time you've been sent here.

"What is this place?"

"That requires a good deal of explanation. You see, I have discovered that the world is governed by forces on a higher plane of existence. Oftentimes, one of these forces will tire of guiding us, or simply disappear. In the event that one of these greater forces no longer guide us, or we have been terminated, then we are locked away in this abyss, which we shall refer to as The Archives for the sake of this discussion. These greater beings are able to examine the course of history, even peer into the inner workings of our mind in great detail. We are put on display, in a sense."

"Nonsense! My reign is just beginning! Surely there's a way back?"

"I have observed occasional beings having their memory erased and taken away, likely for the purpose of forging another army. But I'm afraid our chances of being restored are incredibly slim. It would seem you already had another chance."

"But I must get back! My fellow Shy Guys-"

"...are likely disbanded. Time passes incredibly fast here. Quite interesting to note. I have a bit of a fascination with time, you know."

"I can't stay here forever! This must all be a dream. Gourmet Guy must have bought his supplies from that hobo living in the sewers again. I kept telling him it's not sugar..."

"Fear not, this place will most certainly fade into oblivion. Your mind is likely unable to process such a great shift in life, and using denial as a safeguard for your sanity. However, you best prepare yourself for many long years in this dreary place. I have preoccupied myself by working out my calculations for spacial coordinates that will allow..."

Infini T. continued on, but General Guy was no longer listening. He was frantically searching for a way out of his cell. This went on for hours before he passed out from shock.

And so, time passed as he resigned himself to his fate. His days were filled with quiet contemplation as he thought of a way to escape, and exact revenge on those who had trapped him here. But nothing came to mind, and so the only occasional passbyer broke the repetition. He took great pleasure as he saw a pale Goombard being escorted through the hall by a shadowy figure, looking thoroughly crushed. Most of the days, Infini T. simply sat in the corner muttering incomprehensible words, occasionally scratching down something new on his walls.

One day, a huge rush of people came through. Surely this meant that "The Purging," as Infini T. referred to it as, was upon them. Perhaps he would be among the living again! But the days passed, and a few of the dark figures in the other cells faded away. But he was still there, across from the psychotic, deformed toad. Evidently, his "greater being" no longer took interest in him.

He still caught new figures wandering through. A dark sphere, accompanied by what resembled Bowser. A waddle dee, a disgruntled Hammerbro., a pink blob and his companions, who inexplicably popped out of existence before his very eyes. Infini T. was quite fascinated, but General Guy had stopped listening to his lectures long ago.

After a green sphere fervently praying to people by the names of Amaterasu, Ashera, and Scrappy-Doo along with his motley crew, one of which reminded him of something he built in the old days, passed by into the darkness, he had given up hope on leaving this place.

That was, until a dark Swooper flew by...

[sineG yuG lareneG]

Part 2:

Werman didn't quite succeed in his plans of ultimate power. Being pummeled by a couple of spore-controlled moles in a dark pit several miles below the surface might constitute a loss to some people. But he was not deterred by this unfortunate incident.

For a long time he had sought dark artifacts from every source imaginable, from Larry's petty dealings to Socrates' lengthy and dull lectures. But nothing... Over the course of time, the objects of power had gradually faded away through the course of the wars... The legendary Dark Star, who was the very embodiment of darkness. The famed Black Jewel, who could create legions of monsters on the spot. They had gradually disappeared throughout time. Some were annihilated, but the rest were simply... gone.

An impatient man would never have undergone the difficulties he had faced in gaining the idiotic moles' trust. They would have also found it impossible to gain any seat of power. But what Werman had learned was that it wasn't only a cushy position of power that could influence events... Such isolated species as the underground dwellers would never doubt a humble messenger's words. After all, what could a mere courier accomplish?

With a couple of smooth lies, he could incite a very war when he had barely any power of government. My cruel master despises you 'lowly scum.' His words, not mine. I'm just here to tell you what he says. I would advise you guys to take initiative and strike first. Such a fleet was easy. Oh Mr. Vulcan, sir, I went to those toads on your behalf, but those creatures are savages! I barely got out of there alive! They will probably kill us all by tomorrow! You should form a defense oh brilliant king!

It was in this manner, with a few "unfortunate negotiations" and some "insightful preparations" that he gained the trust of the higher ups. Rising to power was almost ridiculously easy when you could be a charming suck-up.

Though he gained the command of a reasonable force, this was nothing like the power he wished to obtain. Even in this comfy position, his search proved to be futile. Even a determined man would be disheartened by now.

Then he had found something atop Mt. Rugged that laid way for his search for power. He had unearthed documents from a San T. that described the world in great detail. He had learned all about "Mushroom Kingdom Wars" and the artifacts throughout time. Why, if he could obtain just a fraction of those precious relics...

Alas, he had met his end before he could act on this information. But his death was the perfect segway into the next step of his plans.

San T.'s documents had described his theory on how to contact these Greater Beings. He never tested this, as it required something that would not allow failure: death.

It didn't seem worth the price to contact them. But he had unearthed something during his hours he continued San T.'s research. A being by the name of Merloo, who was renowned for his mass of magical objects, had been banished. And a banished being would have no regard for the laws of this world.

And so, as he was slowly mauled to death by his former soldiers (which he considered more lucid under the influence of the parasitic spores) he had used every ounce of power he possessed to contact the banished being. And that was why, as he was marched down the dark corridors of forgotten beings, he clutched a weathered book underneath his wing unknown to the Moderators. And their ignorance of it's existence would be prove to be a fatal flaw.

"How come there's only two mods but six admins? I don't have time to do all this." A strange man in a spacesuit that resembled tinfoil shoved Werman into a cell.

"Don't worry, you won't be doing this much longer." The tinfoil creature had no time to react to this statement when Werman slammed the ancient book against the bars.

---

General Guy was slumped against the wall when he heard sounds echo through the officer storages. He thought he was still dreaming when he saw the dark steel turn into glazed brown.

"What the..."

"It appears that the bars have become a processed form of theobroma cacao." Infini T. spoke up as he broke off a section from the bars, appearing not to notice General Guy's stunned expression. Then again, Shy Guys weren't very good at facial expressions.

"So this is..."

"You likely refer to it as 'chocolate'. And I would advise you to leave before these barbarians realize this and commence a riot." He kicked the bars aside and took a last look at his scrawls.

General Guy knew little of Infini T. despite the time he had spent imprisoned, and was amazed to see how composed he was. He was acting casual, as if their amazing opportunity to break free was as normal as getting up in the morning.

"How can you act so..."

"Calm? Being able to adapt to unforeseen situations and to act accordingly is essential in my line of work. I believe my prosthetic limbs are testimony to that. The best test subjects do not come voluntarily, you see." And with that inadequate parting, he strode down the corridor and was swallowed up by the darkness.

---

Part 2b:


Werman busted down the bars of his cell. The incredible book allowed him to change the very properties of a substance. He faced countless setbacks during the time he spent with Subterranean Strike. But this time, he would not rely on pitiful worms to rise to power. He would let nothing stand in his path to omnipotence this time.

He slammed the book against Tinfoilman, but nothing happened. It seemed that the bizarre outfit was unaffected by the book's power. Unfortunately, the Greater Being must be considerably stronger than the one he had obtained his power from. So he would never be able to match up to the Greater Beings... No matter. He wasn't letting such a trivial detail delay him now. You can't rush progress.

Tinfoilman drew two pistols and fired, but Werman was ready. He rose the book as a shield, and the bullets simply sunk into it's pages. With a swift motion, he drew Vulcan's old spear from it's pages and thrust it through the ridiculous figure. This book had the power to craft anything from the materials it absorbed. Werman took pleasure in using that idiot's weapon; at least the fool will have served him some purpose.

The wounded Greater Being would probably retaliate in seconds, but Werman had no intention of sticking around. The euphoria he felt at using this incredible artifact was greater than anything he ever experienced. With the aid of this book, he could enslave the very gods! Nothing would stand in his way! With a slight rustle of pages, he was gone.

With all the cells no longer being reinforced with Nintendium, the Greater Beings would be too occupied to chase down a lone bat. But as he escaped, a thought crossed his mind past all the exhilaration...

As a devout follower of magic, he was big on necromancy. It was one of the basic principles of magic that spirits and emotions were far greater than any weapon. A wrathful spirit would haunt their enemies until they joined the same realm. Werman certainly didn't depart from Vulcan with a cheery farewell...

Vulcan may have been idiotic, proud, and illogical, but he had earned the respect of his people through his passion on the battlefield. Werman's body gave an involuntary shudder as he thought of the rage he must be experiencing at this moment. Even with the newfound powers of the book, it wouldn't bode well to run into him here...

---

The countless days he had spent trapped in here sapped away all his determination. But he was a General, so he better start acting like one. Except... how would get out of here unscathed? His Toy Tank was nowhere near this place. He had no actual strength; his power had lay with his troops. Heck, without a few sneaky Shy Guy tricks, the Shy Guys would have been a mere memory the moment they incurred the wrath of Tundra Territories.

Apparently, he had escaped from this place before. Surely he could do it again. First things first, he had to figure out what to do. With the whole place in disarray, the entrance to this place would likely crumble as crazed officers ran rampant. The issue here was one of survival. General Guy had speed, all right, and he had witnessed countless wars. If General Guy managed to evade notice for a while, then it wouldn't be too hard to scavenge something. Those who sat out while the others weakened themselves were always ready to attack full-throttle when the enemies were exhausted.

All the neighboring cells were barren, so it would probably be pointless trying to search for anything in them. And the bars were useless now... though admittedly tasty. Only corpses were likely to have anything of use on them...

He was shook from his thoughts by a hulking Shroob charged past his cell. If he didn't figure something out soon, he'd be dead. General Guy watched in horror as he saw the raging Shroob crush a giant one-eyed spider with a single swipe without losing momentum.

General Guy certainly wouldn't stick around to suffer the same fate. Mustering up the little courage that he had, he stepped over the slightly melty frame of his cell and prepared to face his worst enemies... unarmed.

Then a thought occurred to him. He was technically dead. As he gazed at the dark stain on the ground, he couldn't help but wonder... what would happen to a person who died here?

[sineG yuG lareneG]

Infini T. was quite right. Many of the recently deceased were hopped up on sugar and were running amuck before being pulverized by stronger enemies. Their imprisonment had made many lose the will to live, some simply remaining in their cells ignorant of the events happening. Others were driven mad, running about without any regard to safety.

General Guy managed to avoid detection from these lunatics, trying to imitate the tactics his Spy Guys had employed during stealth missions. He soon spotted light at the end of the hallway, which appeared to open up in a courtyard. But a dozen others had arrived before him.

Some figures lay limp on the ground. A blue-haired man lay twisted nearby, with a bent scythe next to him. A gyro top lay embedded in his head. Thankfully he seemed to have missed most of the action. Small skirmishes went on by the stronger heroes, but many lay dead or wounded. A 10 foot genie collapsed on an orange-haired creature with no visible limbs.

General Guy could spot what appeared to be an exit far across the courtyard, but the path was barred by two reckless heros who appeared to be at a stalemate.

"You DARE challenge the Great Dark Star, the Lord of Darkness, He Who Commands the Night? Insolent fools who stand in the way of the Grand Ruler of Shadows shall be obliterated!" This remark was met by a punch from the Elder Princess Shroob, who wasn't quite as vocal as the Dark Star.

Wasting no more time with the empty bluster, the Dark Star fired off laser after laser at Elder Princess Shroob, but it didn't even phase her. If anything, it just fueled her rage. She tried to grab the star, but he split into two, and the Dark Star and his clone created a veil among them. Energy stars appeared to go right around them. Elder PS fired off a flurry of Energy Stars, but none appeared to make a mark on the evasive star.

"Should we be helping the boss?" Dark Cultists hung battle, unsure whether to assist the Dark Star.

"Are troops even suppose to be locked up around here? Anyways, not our fault he doesn't have any other attack. He's better than that chick who made us fight with exploding teddy bears, I'll give him that. But do we really need to wear these ridiculous snuggies though?" Unfortunately, the pessimistic toad caught Elder Princess Shroob's attention, and she promptly tore off his head and sucked vim force from his dripping corpse.

"I take offense at that. " Infini T. stood up from examining a corpse of a penguin. He stabbed with his robotic arm, and nothing appeared to have happened. But then the corpse slowly distorted, and the wings grew at a unrealistic rate. The dead penguin arose, a blank expression on it's face. Then it took to the air and swooped at the real Dark Star, grasping it in enlarged talons. The great Dark Star, at the mercy of a dead penguin... Things probably couldn't get worse for this guy.

"Experimental nanobot technology appears to have an unexpected increase in perception... though aggression seems to remain a constant." Infini T. said to no one in particular. He walked among the fallen, no regard for the combat going on around him.

The reanimated corpse of Penguru flew through the air. Had he been conscience, he would have been exhilarated at his new-found skills. But it would not been long-lived, for Werman appeared in a burst of darkness.

"See? Why can't our boss do cool shadowy stuff like that?" This cultist found himself suffering the same fate as his companion.

Werman flipped open Xaosologos, and the unfortunate Dark Star was sucked into the book along with the over sized predator. Werman was pleased to see the new page that had appeared, with an illustration of the Dark Star in it. Muttering something nobody could hear, many of the shadows in the courtyard shifted, rising up to attack their very owners. He was displeased to see a vaporous shadow rise up, apparently not controlled by the powers the book had absorbed, even more so when more versions of Bogmire appeared.

Through all this, General Guy evaded detection as he cowered behind the corpse of a giant lizardman. What else could he do? He had no weapons with him. At least none of his old enemies appeared to be within the courtyard. It would seem the more powerful leaders had better accommodations.

"You!" General Guy started as a mask with several small appendages crawled up to him.

"You took away everything I had... You sent me to my death for that stupid golden statue. Now look at what's become of me! That psychopath turned me into a monster! I'll make you suffer!" Infini T.'s tormented test subject Game Guy leap at General Guy.

---

"Are you sure about this? That X-Naut dude didn't give us any details." A red-clad plumber stood in a dim-lit room.

"Bro, I once destroyed every machine on Circuit Break Island. I know what I'm doing." A similar plumber stood next to a long line of machines.

---

Alien memories flashed through General Guy's mind. Some were harmless scenes of Shy Guy's Toy Box, long before the days when they had became an army. There was a brief one of being surrounded by Magnuses, with a deadly drill looming over him. Others were of a tropical island, with haunting words of someone who was not appearing in this log. Indistinguishable laboratories, whether Shy Guy or Infini T.'s, were brief but contained horrifying screams.

Game Guy was probably trying to take back what General Guy had robbed him of: an actual body. Infini T. may have mentioned a project like this to him, and he almost regret not listening to what he had said. Almost. He radiated hatred, and General Guy could sense a powerful urge to wreck havoc.

The very thought of dying by a traitorous soldier, to fade with obscurity... It was unbearable. But luck appeared to be on his side.

Slowly, the sensations brought on by Game Guy's attack subsided. General Guy found himself on the ground next to Infini T., jolting some notes down while he had Game Guy struggling underneath his foot.

"Pesky thing, isn't he? The powerful emotion it displays may be worth looking into."

General Guy was usually too proud to credit a stranger with saving his life, but he wouldn't ignore debts, either. Before he could say anything, Infini T. once more displayed an uncanny knack for knowing what he would say before he even acted.

"You may want to hold on to any sentiments you wish to express. It looks like our wardens have employed help." He gestured to the gates, which up until now the sugar-rushed heroes had ignored and the more resilient underlings couldn't get near. But now, everyone who had been fighting froze, turning to see the gates creak open...

Elsewhere, Werman turned in amusement as powerless officers fled from the mechanical versions of Mario baddies poured through the gates to clean up the place. He swept aside the corpse of the no longer moving Amidatty and took to the air, eager to make use of his mystic book.

While a few brave, crazy, or plain stupid heroes prepared themselves for the onslaught of Contractor Bros., General Guy let his natural instincts kick in and assessed the situation; he was currently defenseless, but he guessed that there would be a couple minutes before the machines made their way towards him. They were likely hired to settle everything down, so hiding wouldn't do him any good if they were packing wide-scale weapons. But from the little he knew about Mario, he didn't have good people skills. He couldn't imagine him having anyone from the Mushroom Kingdom manning his mechanical armada. Maybe if he hotwire one of these things...

"Ahoy men! Get ready to commandeer a vessel!" General Guy was surprised to see a fellow Shy Guy with a small band of pirates. He never approved of the tribals or pirates... Usually they were too wild to control. But he wouldn't turn down an opportunity.

---

General Guy was too busy contemplating to notice Infini T., who had set off to be one of the first to engage the oncoming war machines. With the arrival of the Contractor Bros., any specimen worth examining would likely be blasted to infinitesimal bits. It'd do no good to stand around inspecting gore. It was time to depart and investigate what lay beyond these dull cells. He deftly caught one of the explosives slopping over the sides of a Boomba and hurled it at it's side, creating an opening in it.

With some slight satisfaction at the speed of which he'd be leaving this place, he stepped through mesh of copper wires and into a rather crudely designed control panel. No matter; he'd have this junk upgraded to doomsday proportions in a matter of minutes. Infini T. tapped a few keys at a control panel. A dusty screen remained blank. He frowned. Were the Contractor Bros. really this cheap? It would do good to remember to never hire Italians.

Rather than employing his genetic-altering nanobots to modify the mechanisms, he rose his mutated arm and set it against the control panel. Colorless fluid oozed from the pores and sunk into the machine. A ripple went through the liquid. The machines around him whirred for a few moments, and then the screen came on.

He had to admit, he thought that would have done the trick. But after tapping some keys once more, a message appeared on the screen.

Sorry, fellow interloper

I got here first

-The Intruding Sign Painter

And they said he was an incomprehensible psychopath. Mad, the whole lot of them.

---

[sineG yuG lareneG]

Part 4:

[General Guy actually escapes the place after him and Blackbeard the Pirate Guy commandeer a Buzzy Beetle, Game Guy takes over a Smech Guy, Infini T. is cliffhangered having been annoyed by The Sign Painter and MOM, Werman... I don't quite know yet]

"Nonsense! I'm a general!"

"Ain't matter to me, fodder."

"Where's your respect for your fellow Shy Guys?"

"My crew are the only folk who deserve respect. Yer just a city rat 'til ya prove yer worth."

Sometimes, General Guy hated the "eccentric" branch of Shy Guys. Honestly, since when were pirates actually acknowledged as an actual force these days? Game Guy would probably be enraged at this thought, but that didn't matter. He wasn't a lowly foot soldier, not in the least expendable. Still... He did have some skills. A Shy Guy could make use of anything. Making a subtle movement, he picked up a hammer with the handle snapped in half, but a rocket quite clear on it's head...

"So here's how this'll go down, new gru-" Blackbeard the Pirate Guy, I'm afraid to say, had to be dealt with in a rather crude manner.

His crew, which had gone ahead to prepare an ambush, heard a startled cry from their leader. Though they rushed back to their captain, they saw nothing amiss but a dark stain on the ground and a broken hammer. Their leader adjusted his fake beard.

"Cap'n, is something wrong?"

"Nothing, soldier. I was merely bothered by a little... pigeon, is all." The slightly confused Pirate Guy reluctantly fell back in line and turned their attention back to the machines. Was he that bad at coming up with excuses?

Shy Guys were only distinguishable by their personal touches. General Guy would have to keep this in mind when he got back, straightening the ridiculous pirate hat. He was getting weary of this place.

He couldn't help but feel a little ashamed at disposing of another Shy Guy... but there wouldn't be time to dwell on that until he was sitting nice and safe in the Toybox, once again at the head of an army eager to follow his every command...

It would be a major improvement on the sorry condition of these guys. Turning his attention to the grunts he now resigned over, he walked over to the nearest Pirate Guy, looking as inconspicuous as he could.

"You gotta use the bathroom too? I was telling the guys they really should have added modern conveniences to this place. I mean, yar?"

"Quick test. What did I order-"

"But I quit school because of tests!"

"Not the academic kind of-"

"My buddies said we'd have fun looting stuff, not use our brains!"

"Look, just-"

"And when can we have that candy you promised? You promised candy. Lots and lots of candy."

"WILL YOU SHUT UP?" At this, the hyperactive Pirate Guy finally fell silent. General Guy had forgotten how trying some of the Shy Guys could be.

"Alright... Repeat back to me what I instructed you to do earlier."

"We wait here for something, then we hijack it."

"More specific, please." At this, the Pirate Guy looked blank. (or rather, remained blank)

"What?"

"Tell me how we're suppose to hijack it."

"We hijack it."

"I KNOW THAT. How are we gonna hijack it?"

"We just hijack it."

"...Is that it? You seriously didn't get any other instructions?"

"No. And now the machines are almost upon us. You really dropped the ball on this one, Cap'n."

General Guy sighed. It wasn't worth trying to correct these mindless grunts.

---

After downing two Joshis, unfortunately rendering them nonoperational in the process, Infini T. managed to trip a Gry Jones with the frame relatively intact.

Climbing through the skull of the fossil replica, he inserted a 256-bit encryption chip in an old desktop. The Contractor Bros. certainly had no concern about quality, but the chip should keep away any more of electronic entities.

He was pleased to see a poor model of the machine come up on the screen. Now then, he'd just need to-

Hello there valued user! Do you lack the funds you need? MOM will help put you contact a generous Nigerian prince who wishes-

In a rare display of emotion, Infini T. smashed the wretched machine. In his fit of rage, he didn't notice the stealthy creeping of a demented mask...


======================================================


Seeing as how the Pirate Guys would serve as nothing more than cannon fodder, General Guy had to make due with what he had and hid behind the corpse of a large Shroob.

Cowardice? Nonsense, it was strategic concealing. In his own little problem, he had neglected the rest of the battlefield. A quick survey told him that the Contractor Bros' machines had managed to push back most of the lower ranking entities. A few heroes here and there retaliated and struck down the machines, but were weakened by previous combat. Had the Contractor Bros. fought a competent band if heroes, they wouldn't have lasted more than a few minutes. Fortunately for them, most of these creatures were in no state to fight after their captivity.

A few reckless and bloodthirsty beings were still preoccupied with fighting each other with no regard for the machines. Some of the more talented creatures were able to evade the machines completely and make their way to what was perhaps freedom.

Turning his attention back to the Pirate Guys, a small band of them were charging towards a Buzzy Beetle machine. In a matter of seconds, half of them were gunned down. The ones who survived the onslaught looked so surprised that they fell prey to the armaments as well. One soldier remained. This one appeared to gather his thoughts and uttered a war cry and threw a wooden sword at the machine.

It glanced harmlessly off it's steel surface and the survivor quickly succumbed to the brief fire.

Were Shy Guys really this helpless without a leader? General Guy supposed that made them even more efficient at carrying out orders, but still...

So much for taking command of units. Getting out of here would mean he would have to rely on his own strength... Star Spirits help him.

Before he could devise a suicidal plan, a laser sailed over his head from behind. Great, now a raving lunatic wanted to kill him.

He was slightly surprised to see a Shy Guy robot with a bulging stomach, not unlike Gourmet Guy. One would expect it to fire lasers through it's eyes, but no, it appeared to come from it's stomach. Which was undoubtedly better for it's pilot, as Game Guy was perched over it's mask. That guy really needed to let things go.

General Guy was starting to wish he didn't come across any Shy Guys here. He paused, as tradition when two rivals meet, but no witty line was forthcoming. A bit of a disappointment. Usually adversaries uttered some cool line that can haunt them forever in the afterlife but he was beginning to realize actual enemies were nothing like how he painstakingly set up during the old days when he served Bowser. Shame, appearance had been his favorite element.

Having no means of attack, General Guy dropped down as a barrage of lasers flew from the machine's stomach. Many of them came so close that they seared his hat.

He loved that hat. General Guy was getting fed up with all his helplessness. How he longed for his army back. If he couldn't fight his battles, then other people would.

Jumping over the shroob corpse and crouching, he took account of the nearest creatures. A raving bat was laughing as drained attributes from a pale woman with a Luma around here. He looked easy to provoke. Mustering his voice, he shouted to the swooper.

---

Werman was delighted as he removed a passage from Rosalina's page and placed it alongside his own. A shimmering force field appeared around him. He wondered what would happen if he managed to create a page of a Greater Being...

"Hey rat! You sparkle more in the sunlight than teenage vampires!"

What insolence! Irritated, he turned towards the sound of the perpetrators voice. A Shy Guy with a rather ratty hat was yelling at him. The creatures were little better than children.

"My buddy over there could beat you up with his hands taped to his back!"

He supposed that he could afford to bully them for a while. The delinquents would learn to pay the price for their lack of respect.

The accomplice in question appeared to be double the size of the big-mouthed one. So the degenerate was the little ring-leader of his gang. No doubt they would be kings on a playground, but he'd show them the consequences of playing on a battlefield.

---

Looking through a wound clean through the shroob's body (General Guy tried not to think about it) he saw Game Guy approach closer. If he was still in control of his mind, he would have realized that he could simply fire a barrage of missiles where he was standing and be done with it. But either his mind was long gone or he wanted to watch him die. Either option was deeply unsettling.

He didn't dare look up, but he hoped his gamble worked. The shoddy clanking sound of the Smech Guy was now drowning out all other noises. General Guy wouldn't go down cowering, if it came to that...

In an instant there was a flash of light and a resounding crack. Thank the Star Spirits.

But now he was currently next on the list...

Without warning, fortunately before he got up, a swarm of missiles flew over his head and collided with a Buzzy Beeple that the Pirate Guys had died trying to capture. There appeared to be an opening in the surface.

Hoping for the best, General Guy ran towards the machine. Something exploded to his right, but he didn't turn. Just a couple more yards and he'd be inside...

Another blast. This time right behind him. General Guy was flung forward into the machine.

For a terrifying moment he thought he might be dead. A true death. One of endless black and an infinity of nothing... but no, he was in too much pain to be dead. Apparently the Mario Bros. were accustomed to darkness.

Painfully rising, he got up and peered into the darkness. He could just make out... a Gamecube controller? Was anything of their's not from a junkyard? Still, that would suit him just fine. The monitor appeared to be off, although more likely broken. Luckily they had some sort of GPS installed. Now with a bit of luck, he'd finally get out of here and into what lay beyond...

[sineG yuG lareneG]

Not long after, the D batteries charging the machine ran out. Hard to believe these things actually went to war. General Guy wondered why they, of all people, would deal with the riot. Tundra Territories would have dealt with it in a matter of seconds.

Suddenly, a knocking sound reverberated throughout the machine. This startled him, but he overcame the surprise and locate the source quickly. There appeared to be a hatch just above.

This would be bad news. He had no idea where he was. Their navigation system provided little more than geometric shapes. There could be several dozen guns being armed and ready to fire at him...

"Salutations!" General Guy started; it came from right behind him.

He jumped around and swung his fist in panic. It went right through the figure standing besides him and he painfully collided with some rough-looking metal.

"Your kind greets people with violence? That's a nice style you've got running."

It was hard to discern the creature... He could only see his outline. In fact, it appeared he was nothing but an outline. It was made of multi-colored strands, and General Guy could just make out a grinning face with something that rather resembled a sombrero. It also appeared to have a poncho and a large mustache...

The hatch above burst open without warning an a sphere with something indistinguishable in the center fell through. He thought it would shatter, but apparently it was more durable than it looked as it ricocheted around the machine. (Or perhaps, the machine was even weaker than he imagined)

As General Guy watched the sphere's progress with concern, a flash of red shot through the hatch and started shouting incoherently.

"ANARCHY! REVOLUTION! DEATH TO THE KING!" The Waddle Dee made an unexpected leap to the side and started pounding on various mechanisms to little purpose.

"As you can see, we're a civilized bunch of hitchhikers. That hamster-ball thing over there is Yami, and this ambassador is Paradee. I am none other than the infamous wizard Yin-Yarn!" At this last statement, Yin-Yarn looked confident, as though he actually was infamous. General Guy didn't know whether to be concerned about the creature seeming to believe what he said or if the crazy Waddle Dee really was an ambassador.

"Yeah... So, if you'll excuse me..." He was hoping to leave the crazy trio behind, but the apparent wizard shot out an over-sized sewing needle to bar his path.

"Hey now, won't you introduce yourself?"

"No." Ignoring Yin-Yarn, General Guy stepped right through him and grabbed onto a ladder leading up through the hatch.

"There ain't much out there."

But General Guy found it to be the complete opposite. For a second, he thought he has stepped back in time and was back in Toad Town. It was exactly like the day he had been sucked into the archives, minus all the life. Had he made it back to the current world?

But after taking in what he saw, he realized that several things were different. It appeared to be a sunny day, yet he could see the moon in clarity. The X-Naut Moon Base must have been expanded, because he could see a gray spot on the surface.

Then he noticed the smaller things amiss. There was graffiti on the walls that seemed to be crude attempts at mocking the fallen Shy Guy Army. Some odd objects appeared to glow; a window, the pipe to the sewers, the old stand that sold badges...

In the distance, he could see Mt. Rugged with a large crater in it's side and Bowser's Castle landed next to it. General Guy gave an involuntary shudder. That was were he was hit dead-on with the DERP. It was the same world he had first lived in.

That might have been a dead giveaway on seeing the enormous Malevolence crashed into the sea, appearing so huge that General Guy wouldn't have been surprised if it stretched out all the way to Lavalava Island.

As a variety of odd sounds emanated from the machine he had hijacked, he went to take a closer look at the nearest glowing objects. The closest was was the door to his "office," if he wasn't mistaken.

It seemed to dim slightly as he made contact, but when he turned the handle, there was a brilliant flash of light before revealing... his empty office.

What was the significance of that? But then the window of the office shattered.

A skateboard sailed through the broken glass, following a Pyro Guy. They seemed to take no notice of him as they leaped back through the window to retaliate against... was that the Toybox on the horizon? It looked as though these objects served as a window of sorts to battlefields. He grabbed the last cookie from his secret stash before going back through the doorway.

Wandering around, he saw glimpses of battles through these portals. This place was full of nostalgia, the best and worst times of the Shy Guy Army.

He knew it would be pointless to try and use these to remain in an older time; anything he could have done in the past would have already led up to current events. He had learned that much from Infini T. But to rejoin his men...

...Come to think of it, he never saw Gourmet Guy or Big Lantern Ghost back in those holding facilities. Where were they?

Ignoring Paradee contributing to the graffti with enthusiasm, he found the old building that had held the Shy Guy's Toy Box back when he served Bowser. Before he worked out how he'd leave this vast place, he wanted to remember the good 'ol days.

As he flipped the fake panel of the wall around, he thought he must be deluded. But no... There, in pristine condition, stood the Shy Guy's Toy Box.

Not only that, but there were sounds coming from it's depth...

Was his army truly there?

Doing what he hadn't done since possibly literally lifetimes ago, he flipped open the lid of the pastel blue box...


======================================================



Shy Guy's Toy Box. Home.

During all this war, he had quite forgotten how bright and cheery the place looked. Every structure was simple, yet had imaginative touches. Colorful patterns adorned the walls, and crayon doodles were everywhere. Simple toys, along with everything they had ever taken, were scattered around. After all, they lived in the toybox. They wouldn't have needed to put things away.

Their greatest pride were their machines. They were by no means advanced... In fact, General Guy had never really figured out how his mechanics did it, but they were little more than jumbles of colorful blocks. Yet they were able to move with ease. Functionality wasn't really the point of them.

Every day in the Toybox had been carefree, doing whatever they felt like. No limitations, no laws, no rules... It was every kid's fantasy.

Until General Guy wanted more. Sure, there was more candy, cartoons, and toys a person could imagine. There was never a shortage of fun.

But... what of the outside world? Shouldn't they be entitled to experience the miracles of nature, the bustling activity of cities? He wanted something different.

Gazing around, he had forgotten how easy life was here. No responsibilities... it would be easy to just stay here and forget about the world outside.

That sound again... It was coming from the playground section of the Toybox.

Rushing with no regard to one of his status, he rushed over and saw...

Nothing.

Where was everyone? He could see things still in motion, as if they had been in use seconds before. But why would they hide? He supposed they probably thought he was an intruder.

"At ease, guys! Your general is back!"

Silence. No response whatsoever. He didn't understand. Why wouldn't they show themselves to their leader?

Then, some faint scuffling behind him. General Guy turned around and came to face the Shy Squad.

He was overjoyed to see them, but they showed no emotion. Probably because of the fact they had masks. Still, he had encountered his men at last!

"Finally, I've found some Shy Guys who aren't trying to kill me! Men, tell the rest of the guys to assemble in the old safe room. We'll discuss what happened, and then-"

"No." They spoke in unison.

For a moment, General Guy was too stunned to speak. None of his men had ever talked back at him before. Perhaps they believed he was a doppelganger?

"At ease, men. I'm the real deal. It's a long story, and I'm not sure why you guys weren't back there, but-"

"We're not going anywhere."

This time, General Guy was shocked at their lack of respect. He was willing to ignore it one more time.

"Now listen up, you may be feeling as rebellious as some red creatures I know, but this is inexcusable. Now, go and-" For the third time, General Guy was cut off by his subordinates.

"You just don't get it, do you? We don't need you anymore. You're finished."

To say General Guy was surprised was a great understatement. He wasn't sure where this insolent behavior was coming from, but he'd see to it that there were severely disciplined. He wasn't about to put up with this after all he had been through.

"You are out of line, soldiers! Now follow my instructions or there'll be endgame to pay!"

Still they did nothing but stare at him. How dare they refuse an order straight from their general!

"And why should we listen to you?"

"W-Why? You dare ask WHY? For Overthere's sake, I'M YOUR GENERAL!"

"You're an idiot, you know that? We don't listen to you anymore."

"This is mutiny! If anyone is out there, a thousand peanut butter cups to any Shy Guy who takes them down!"

"You expect anyone to come to your aid? You're just a washed up bully now. When have you ever made us happy? All you've ever brought us was torment, and now it's time for you to be disposed of."

Suddenly the sound of weapons being loaded filled the room as Shy Guys of dozens of variety stepped out from their hiding places, thousands of blades, barrels and blunt objects aimed at their old general. To his horror, he even saw Gourmet Guy and Big Lantern Ghost among the ranks of troops ready to kill their leader.

"Farewell, old general." Said the Shy Squads as they approached General Guy, weapons raised.

[sineG yuG lareneG]

Part 11

General Guy stood in front of the majority of the Shy Guy Army, thousands of Shy Guys barring down on them. Jack, the untalented member of the Shy Squad, raised the barrel of his Red Ryder BB Gun. It was a close-range shot, as he was no more than five feet away. There wasn't any way he could missed. The hyperactive and rebellious crowd were baying for bloodshed.

He saw an expression of malicious glee appear on Jack's face. And then he pulled the trigger, a pellet on a direct path to General Guy, no way it could possibly fail to make it's mark...

"Ow! You little...!" The pellet bounced harmlessly off General Guy's mask in an anti-climatic fashion, disappointing all the onlookers.

"Someone get a weapon that isn't a jury-rigged toy!" Dozens of other Shy Guys used their weapons. A baseball hit General Guy, while several eggs landed near-by, preforming nothing.

He wasn't about to give them the opportunity to throw something more dangerous. He turned on the spot and ran, as fast as he could. One of the Shy Squad members shouted a command, but he was too busy running for his life to listen. They'd be on him within seconds if he couldn't lose them. Having no other option on hand, he fled to Big Lantern's Ghost personal quarters, the only area of the Toybox shrouded in darkness.

---

The shouts and sounds of pursuit gradually faded as General Guy strode further into the darkness. Perhaps it was due to his long imprisonment in the Archives, but he could see fairly well into the darkness.

General Guy allowed himself to slow down; running would just make more noise.

As he finally came to a rest, he did what came naturally and assessed the situation. He would need a weapon that would help him get through crowds. His Toy Tank, perhaps. There wasn't a whole lot of options, being in enemy territory...

Try as he might, he couldn't block the thoughts of what had just transpired. He wasn't heartless, after all. His long-trusted subordinates had just tried to kill him, after calling him a heartless dictator. His homeland had become one of the most dangerous places he could be, surrounded by thousands out for his blood...

He shook his head to clear his mind. Hesitating when an entire army was in pursuit wouldn't be good. General Guy would repress the feelings now and deal with the therapy later, if indeed there was a later.

Whether he would continue this train of thought, he would never know, as a chilling voice filled the area. It was impossible to locate the sound.

You know, General... I never did like you creatures...

A theatrical clanging of metal. Big Lantern Ghost was around.

The only reason I came here was to bully you wimps... Perhaps I'd have usurped you at some point and hang you on a cage, just like the old sparky...

That sounded rather dark for him. It seemed as though he'd gone mad in the recent years. He should have fled, but he was at home here. BLG could be inches away and he wouldn't have known.

And now, your own kind is urging me to kill you! Consider it cosmic payback for the suffering you made me sit through. All the horrid sunlight...

Light... General Guy could see the faintest glint of his medal. Even though the lantern ghost hated light, he wield it to enhance his ghost-like qualities. It was a long shot, but if BLG still insist on carrying his lantern...

A cage is too good for you, after all that... No, I think splatter the wall with your blood and hang your mask on the wall, a block of cheese among a sea of red...

He was getting close now, but General Guy couldn't see so much as an outline-

"SURPRISE!" BLG suddenly loomed out of the darkness, his lantern brightening slightly to give his face a haunting appearance.

General Guy threw a punch at the lantern. The sparky in the cage momentarily flared up, giving him the chance he needed. He tilted his polished medal so that it reflected the light right into BLG's eyes.

BLG let out a howl of agony, and General Guy took this opportunity to snatch the lantern out of his hands. Using all the strength he could muster, he smashed it on the ground.

The sparky inside finally free, it would have a field day getting revenge. But General Guy had no time for luxuries. The sooner he could find his tank and leave, the better for everyone. He ran through the darkness, until BLG's cries were lost in the distance.

---

After a while, he could see light on the horizon as he was finally making it out of the dim-lit and rather depressing lair of BLG.

General Guy was making his way for the light, when his instincts suddenly flared up. He could sense movement in the darkness.

A dark figure stepped out of the shadows and barred his path. An Anti-Guy, or maybe a Snifit. They would be one of the few troops who could do actual damage without the aid of jury-rigged toys. If it was an Anti-Guy, he could snap his neck before he could turn around. Maybe if-

"Fancy a real gun? I suppose my average wares won't cut it, considering you've experienced first hand how lousy they are."

"Wait... You're that shady Snifit who supplied my army with equipment. You knew they were junk? You would have let my soldiers go to war with weapons that wouldn't work?" General Guy felt angry despite his current condition.

"Hey, you tried paying me in candy! I never even charged tax. Who's the real cheat here? 'sides, I gotta get out of here. Your old pals won't be praising my craftsmanship anytime soon. So I'll give you a last opportunity. That badge real gold?"

"You want my medal? This is the symbol of my status! Only generals get to have such awards."

"I must have been at a different riot then, because it sounds to me like you ain't got an army no more. You want a gun or not?" General Guy sighed. The shady salesman had a point. He rose his hand to his precious medal. As much as he hated the salesman right now, he wasn't stupid enough to risk his life for a scrap of metal.

"Very well. But what could you possibly have?" The Shady Snifit Salesmen pulled out a revolver from seemingly nowhere.

"Here, take it. I won't be needing it." General Guy grudgingly handed over his medal and inspected the new weapon. It seemed familiar, actually... He had least seen it...

"Wait... This was the revolver I had before I got hit by that missile... You looted my radioactive ashes!?"

"Nice doing business with ya." He slunk off into the shadows before General Guy could test his new weapon.

General Guy turned the revolver over in his hand... Perhaps it was his imagination, but it seemed as though there was something special about it. A certain aura surrounding it... It's history was a bit sketchy, but at this point, he didn't care where it had come from. At least if he died here, he'd take a dozen AWOL soldiers with him.

As he forged onwards in search of his old Toy Tank, it was reassuring to know that he would no longer be frustratingly helpless as he had been during these past... hours, was it? So much had happened, and he couldn't do a bit about it. He'd always relied on charm, (or at least he'd like to think as much) and his ability to guide others. If he somehow got back to the real world alive, he vowed to no longer take the back seat and rely on others to be in control of his fate.

From now on, nobody but himself was going to shape his future.

[sineG yuG lareneG]

Part 12

General Guy pushed aside fake cardboard paneling. Ever since Mario had attacked them, they had blocked off the old arena where they had kept Muskular. It was almost as dark as BLG's lair. They hadn't had much use for it except storage, really.

He had encountered little resistance along the way, fortunately. Apparently the salesman had set off some fireworks somewhere on the other side as a parting gift, and the Shy Guys had disastrous results when they tried to use the firetrucks rigged for Pyro Guys.

In the dim-lit room, he could see the colorful outline of his busted Toy Tank. He wondered if it would even work. As he came closer, he saw that it looked intact. Someone must have patched it up out of boredom. Odd, but he was too tired to question these sort of things.

It seemed as though everything was fully functional, even the light bulb was replaced. Finally, he had a fighting chance at getting out of here, as long as nothing went wrong.

And of course, it did. A loud, obnoxious noise filled the room. It would have been dramatic, perhaps, had it not sounded like someone with intestinal problems.

The cardboard paneling around the arena fell to reveal a squad of captains, with all of them looking at the fat and lazy Chief Guy as he let out the most disgusting sounds of an average body, oblivious to the angry looks of the others. He just continued on, until he finally broke off after a fit of coughing. It was followed by awkward silence.

Justin the Repair Guy stepped forward and broke the tension.

"Screw you guys. I'm going to go find an army that doesn't have a savage leader who does nothing but eat, sleep, and make disgusting noise. Just you wait, I'll be working with a raving cannibal someday." With that certainly impossible proclamation, he left the room. As if someone could actually find cannibals in Mushroom Kingdom.

General Guy had no more time for his this nonsense. He made a mad dash to the Toy Tank.

They finally gathered their wits. Boomer the Boom Guy stepped forward and fired a blinding Bullet Bill at General Guy.

General Guy had no time to shield his eyes. The sudden change from semi-darkness to brilliant light seared his eyes.

Before he could see again, Big Stilt Guy made a short bound across the room and slammed one of his large stilts into the Toy Tank and sent it tumbling to the other end of the arena. Al the Anti Guy grabbed a block near the wall and hurled it at General Guy.

It all happened in a matter of seconds. He had no time to react. As the block collided with him, he felt himself on the verge of unconsciousness before Guy McPerson snuck up from behind and roughly shoved him to the ground.

Gourmet Guy and other assorted captains strode up to him with a satisfied look on his mask. It looked like they wanted to have some fun before executing him.

"I say we roast his hands and make him eat them!"

"No, forget about your petty trauma from the old geezer. I say we do a lazy paint job and change his pallet to something barely viewable."

"Is dinner done? I'm getting hungry."

"Hey, at least you got a full color swap! All I got was a blue glow!"

"I want some pizza for dinner."

"Let's avenge old Game Guy and turn him into a Robocop clone."

"Stuffed inside a turkey, deep fried and coated in chocolate."

"Are you stupid? Justin just walked out the door. And anyways, then he'd just kill us!"

"Also with a nice side of-"

"Shut up Chief Guy! Bug me after we're finished with the general!"

"Who now?"

Ugh, this was just humiliating how his captors couldn't even discuss his fate without thinking about dinner.

While Guy McPerson was arguing about Robocop stuff with Jack, he loosened his grip. If General Guy could just reach his revolver...

"Hey, what's that thing the general has?" Bandy Andy suddenly pushed Guy McPerson aside and started frisking General Guy.

"That's my job, you know."

"Shut it, McPerson. I bet you never noticed anything. And just look what we have here! Now this may be worth something." General Guy could only watch as he pulled out his revolver from his pocket.

"Hand it over. I'm the one with a trench coat here."

"No way, man. I found it first."

General Guy gave a sigh and resigned himself to a shameful death as Bandy Andy and Guy McPerson struggled over the revolver. He almost didn't notice what happened next.

Bandy Andy lost his grip, and Guy McPerson went flying backwards with it. It flew from his hands and skidded across the floor, firing off a shot as it landed.

One would think the bullet would simply embed itself or go through the rather weak walls. But instead, it ricocheted off the wall.

It bounced back towards the cluster of Shy Guy captains as they all dropped to the ground. Big Stilt Guy was not privileged enough to be able to dodge.

The sound of wood cracking filled the air as it embedded in the stilt. BSG was thrown off balance and swung his leg through the air, despite to remain balanced. His broken stilt collided with Chief Guy, still occupied with babbling about dinner to nobody in particular. The surprised Spear Guy was sent hurtling through the air and crushed Bandy Andy and Guy McPerson with his great bulk, narrowing missing General Guy.

Big Stilt Guy's trouble didn't end there. He ended up dropping his good stilt when it collided with Chief Guy, and he hung onto the cracked one in a last act of desperation. Another sound filled the air as the stilt broke under BSG's immense weight. He swung his stubby arms to no avail as he fell backwards and Al and Boomer disappeared under his immense weight.

A large shard of the broken stilt miraculously flew threw the air and impaled a surprised Gourmet Guy, pinning him to the floor with the fatal wound.

It had occurred in almost a blink of the eye. General Guy might have been too stunned to even move, had a fractured piece of wood not speared the ground inches away from him.

He made another dash towards the Toy Tank, slowing down to snatch up the revolver on his way. This time, nobody was in a condition to stop him. Within seconds he was down the hatch and wrestling with the controls.

Jonathan, Jack and Flamer finally stirred, but it was too late. Flamer made a reluctant step towards the Toy Tank and received a high voltage shock in response. His prized C.O.M.E.T. exploded, engulfing the remaining Shy Squad in flames. With nothing stopping him, the Toy Tank sped out of the room.

And Petal Guy was perfectly fine throughout all this. He gazed upon the room, where all the other captains either lay crushed underneath bloated corpses, burned in a fiery wreckage, or impaled on the ground.

"I feel like this situation requires a ballad to accompany it! ~There once was-"

The boot attached to the broken stilt fell from where it had been flung up and crushed the poor poet.

[sineG yuG lareneG]

Part 13

Once General Guy had put considerable distance behind him, he took a moment to reflect on the amazing occurrence. Sheer luck? Perhaps... He had been quite lucky at times, such as the Luigi's Diary blackmail. More likely it was some sort of power that the revolver possessed.

After running over what he believed to be his former men, he soon detected the exit nearby.

Before parting ways with the tank, he noticed something new on the side. A red button among the wheels.

He hadn't seen anything dangerous inside, and who would possibly put a button on the outside that would hurt them? It probably couldn't hurt to test it. To his surprise, he found that as he lifted his hand from the button, the Toy Tank had suddenly folded into itself. Justin must have made some modifications to it in his spare time. It soon shrunk down to the size of a real toy, with a blue button in place of the hatch.

General Guy securely placed the miniature Toy Tank underneath his cap and jumped onto the spring, not sparing the time for a last look around. This wasn't his home any longer.

Before he left the run-down house completely... He set a nearby crate on top of the Toybox. That would keep them there for quite a while.

Now he once again faced the the big problem. How'd he get out of here, into the real world?

Toad Town was once again deserted. Where he had left the Buzzy Beeple were only a few scrap metal parts. Justin undoubtedly repaired it. He had no idea where the hitchhikers went, and wasn't exactly eager to find out.

His intuition was alerting him that something was off. But he couldn't place it...

It was almost night. The sun was beginning to set, or rather, become blocked by the imposing Malevolence. He gazed up at the red sky, wondering if he should travel by night.

Wait... Red sky... Yet, the sun was still visible above the Malevolence's bulk.

He gazed at the sun for a minute or so, aware that it wasn't searing his retinas. That could only mean... Another of those portals?

If there was one path that lead to the ongoing world, it had to that one. That solved one problem, but now he faced a new dilemma. How would he get there? There wasn't any semblance of aircraft around here except the Malevolence, and there would be no way he could pilot that. Was there anyone who could possibly pilot a behemoth of a machine by their lonesome self?

---

Game Guy's list of problems just kept on getting longer. Did he want to gut his old general and make him suffer like no one has ever suffered before? Sure, but that was understandable.

What's worse is that General Guy had used him to save his own hide. That just boiled his blood. Metaphorically, of course. Because General Guy/Infini T. robbed him of a mortal body and whatnot.

Hatred is a rather powerful emotion. It's an all-consuming desire that takes over your world until nothing but your revenge has meaning. Game Guy barely registered the magical blasts Werman rained down upon him that would have leveled a mountain. Even he was rather unnerved by Game Guy's stoic display, changing his focus to the lesser one in the mean time. But before he could turn his attention back to him after dispatching General Guy, Game Guy was long gone. His life was just one mission now, and he wouldn't linger around for some silly bat.

So it was pretty reasonable to assume that seeing Infini T. again on a long stretch of patchwork zones, not unlike Subspace, was any less annoying.

Infini T. had been repeatedly thwarted by electronic entities that were presumably spam bots, of all things, and wasn't exactly in a cheery mood either.

But he was also fascinated by Game Guy's clunky host. He had never designed Game Guy to be able to control living things, much less inorganic materials. But it seemed as if he had even improved the poorly constructed robot somehow. Had his hatred grown so strong he had developed the means to self program himself and make according adjustments to anything he came in contact with?

Clear fluid oozed from his mutated arm, gathering itself into a tendril at the end of his limb. Alas, the best subjects never come in without a fight.

---

The large frame of the Malevolence shuddered. General Guy was surprised. He couldn't see anything affecting it from his position, but what could have changed inside since he had visited the Toybox? It gave a startling lurch.

Having lain dormant for Star Spirits know how long in this place, the effect it gave was tremendous. Rust rained down in flakes from unused turrets, engines sparked to life and blazed bright. As General Guy watched life ignite within the monster of all machines, the shoreline sharply receded.

Then a foreboding thought occurred to him. It would need a large boost to get it up into the air. And however it got itself up, there would certainly be enough force to level Toad Town. In a few minutes, General Guy could be a dark smear on the ground.

He hurriedly glanced around Toad Town for something that might help. But nothing stood out as useful. Just everyday materials, rigged marble cannons... Nothing. There was no way he could pull a trick out of all this. No Deus Fax Machina to get him out of this mess.

The crushing reality of the situation set it. There were no more cards up his sleeve. He couldn't pull out a miracle from nothing. His luck was at an end. But there was no time to start getting all moody. General Guy had braved many life threatening situations on the way here, and he wasn't just going to resign himself to death because odds weren't in his favor. There was still one thing he'd never thought to try.

Silently he pleaded with his Greater Being to send him some sort of help. Didn't people really only turn to greater forces when they were desperate? He felt that this would merit it.

General Guy waited for some sort of sign. Nothing but the steady sound of the Malevolence powering up filled the air.

Fat lot of help deities are when you really need them.

"Hey Mr. 'No,' we've been looking for you!" Yin-Yarn suddenly dropped down him front of him, unraveling until his "head" was level to General Guy.

He looked upwards and saw a small vessel hover above. It might have been once impressive, but now it appeared to be relying on string to hold it together. Even from a distance he could tell Paradee was at the helm, making dramatic gestures to express his discontent at governments.

General Guy hated his Greater Being.

[sineG yuG lareneG]

Part 14

The Archives were in a mess. Corpses everywhere, battle topics defiled... Worst of all, some had made it out. They thankfully ended up in the wrong version. But X-Naut_P was the only moderator left, Tinfoilman having been promoted. His resemblance to an X-Naut didn't spare him any mercy from Commander Ratch, as he saw the disgraceful state it was currently in. He feared what would happen to him if any of the characters had made it to the current version. Stop them, or face the wrath of Commander Ratch?

---

Infini T. stood at the bridge of the Malevolence. Utilizing his own abilities, and Game Guy's mysterious power, he controlled perhaps the largest monstrosity in the history of wars. No other war machine came remotely close to it's power, however terrible the previous pilot had been.

It's radar had detected an incomplete machine in the vicinity. It would be a simple matter to... Another one? This one complete... And another...

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The Ark of Yamato, despite all it's flaws, was incredibly fast. General Guy would rather board the Malevolence and take his chances with the pilot then stay on such a rickety machine, however.

"I appreciate your help, but could you drop me off at the Malevolence?"

"Why not stick around?"

"Because you're more dangerous than my enemies."

"ANARCHY!"

A sudden blast rocked the fragile vehicle, causing a large chunk of machinery to break away.

Somehow unnoticed, a large Doomship painted with the colors of the X-Nauts had flown over them.